Learning to Stand
by Ana Denali
Summary: When you're tired of fighting and running isn't an option, all you can do is stand...last two chapters up. COMPLETE Rin-centered fic. OC POV (Shameless Begging) Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters therein (Thank GOD—can you imagine the state of my house? Aaargh!) They belong Natsuki Takaya.  
  
This is my first fic! R&R please, but be gentle if you can. If you absolutely hate it, I'll understand! Not too sure how I feel about it myself! (laughs)  
  
Chapter 1: Foolish Expectations  
  
"Isuzu-san?" I leaned in to the girl who sat hunched in the university's library. Her brow was scrunched up in concentration; it did nothing to mar the stunning features of her face. "Isuzu-san?" She jerked her head in my direction.  
"Yes? What can I do for you?" she said coldly. The look on her face now said 'leave me alone!'  
I took a step backwards without even realizing it. "Gomen, Isuzu- san. I was wondering if you had the notes from philosophy class? I wasn't able to attend..." my voice trailed off as she became even colder.  
"No, I don't." she replied bluntly. "I didn't go." She hunched back over the desk, shutting me out. I sighed. This wasn't going well. No time like the present, I said to myself. I screwed up my courage and sat down next to her. She glared at my presumption and I felt my heart rate triple. She was incredibly beautiful—almost obscenely so. She didn't hide it; she flaunted it in people's faces, daring them to comment. I never had.  
"Gomen, Isuzu-san. I lied. It's true I didn't go to philosophy class, but I don't need the notes from you. I was curious about you, that's all. I'd like to get to know you better." I smiled nervously.  
"So you lied and now you expect me to dance with joy because you 'want to get to know me'?" She snorted derisively. My eyes fell on what she had been concentrating on all this time: a scroll. It looked very old.  
  
"What's your name?" I blinked.  
"Um, it's Mikage Tamae." I tried not to stutter as my nervousness increased. She glared at me even more intensely.  
"Go away." It was not an offer. I felt my cheeks flame. Shakily I stood up and turned to go, when I saw faint writing on the scroll.  
"You know if it's that old you shouldn't be carrying it around like that." I gestured to the scroll. "It needs to be preserved. The ink's barely legible it's so faded. And the kanji is strange...it's very old isn't it?" She blinked at me. Then her face once again resumed its stubborn expression, mouth set in a mulish line. I felt disappointment sour my stomach and turned to go. "I guess I'll see you in philosophy class. Sayonara."  
  
Two days later I had recovered from my mortification enough to go to class without blushing. Why had I approached her like that? It wasn't that she was beautiful; I knew I wasn't attracted to girls. She just seemed to have a wall between her and the rest of the world. She smiled mysteriously, laughed loudly, and hid behind both. She seemed...lonely. Since I was lonely myself, that didn't seem all that unusual. First-years in university were the most likely to drop out due to depression. But sometimes I would glance across the lecture hall and she would be looking at her hands, an expression on her face that was close to despair. She didn't talk to anyone; I had never seen her with friends. She was more than lonely. She was alone.  
I got to class just in time and glanced about the room. The only empty seat in the class was right next to—Isuzu-san? My heart beat a tattoo against my sternum. Of all the luck! I settled into the seat and tried to put as much mental distance from her as I could. She didn't even look at me. I managed to put her out of my mind as I concentrated on taking notes until the instructor announced the end of class. Breathing a sigh of relief I gathered my things and stood to leave.  
"Your writing is very...precise." She said. I jumped, startled. "Huh?"  
"I noticed it while you were taking notes. It's very neat." She looked at me intensely.  
"Oh, um, arigatou."  
"What are you majoring in?" I blinked stupidly at her. "Here in university? What are you studying to be?" she explained more slowly. She began to look irritated at my slowness.  
"Oh, gomen! I'm actually double-majoring in archeology and languages. I want to become an archivist."  
"An archivist?"  
"Um, yes. Someone who restores, preserves and translates old documents. My father's an archeologist so he kind of inspired me." I knew I was talking too fast. Her stare became even more piercing.  
"You are...Mikage-san, correct?"  
"Please, just call me Tamae."  
She nodded. "All right, Tamae-san. I will speak with you later. Have a good afternoon." And she just turned and left! I registered the sweep of her long, unbound hair as it brushed across my hands, which were clutching my notebook and text to my chest. I stood there for a minute, trying to regain my composure, before I too turned and made my way back to my dorm room to prepare for my next class.  
  
Later turned out to be three days later, on Saturday. I was doing my laundry when I realized there was someone behind me. It was Isuzu-san.  
"Hello, Isuzu-san. How have you been?" Had she been that pale before?  
"I'm just fine. And you?"  
"I'm all right." She took a deep breath and let it out in a rush.  
"Now that that's over with, I want to ask you something." I blinked. Would I ever get used to her bluntness?  
"Okay..."  
She pulled a handful of change out of her pocket and fed coins into several washing machines. Then, glancing around her, she leaned in towards me and spoke in a low tone.  
"I need your help. You know that scroll you saw me with? I found it, but I don't know what it says. Will you help me with it?" I could barely hear her over the noise the appliances were making. I was surprised. I had never expected this. I didn't know what to expect, but it certainly hadn't been anything like this.  
"But I don't know anything about that yet! I'm only a first-year!"  
"But you'll know where to look so we can figure out what it says. I have to know what it says!" her voice grew louder as she spoke and for the first time I saw a crack in her façade. I saw—desperation? What could that scroll contain that was so important to her?  
"Um, can I ask why?" The moment I asked, I knew it was a mistake. The wall came slamming back down in her eyes and her face became set and cold.  
"I just do. Will you help me? I'll be more than happy to pay you."  
"Oh, no! I don't need any money!" I shook my head. "This is happening so fast...I'd love to help Isuzu-san. After all, I did say I wanted to get to know Isuzu-san better!" I smiled in relief.  
"Don't get the wrong idea, Tamae-san. We're not friends. After you're done helping me, you may not want to be my friend at all. But I need your help if I'm going to figure out what this thing says. That's the only reason I'm still talking to you after the fool you made of yourself in the library." She smiled meanly at me as I looked down at the floor. My face felt like it was on fire. "Like I said, I'll pay you for your trouble. You could use some new clothes anyway." Her eyes raked my body scornfully. "Meet me tomorrow in the library. 11 o'clock. Sayonara." Once again, she turned and left. After she was gone my anger rose. What the hell did she mean I could use some new clothes? My clothes were fine. What a bitch. Then I stopped myself. She had been acting pretty paranoid. She didn't want anyone to hear our conversation, and she seemed genuinely afraid of something. Had that been the expression I interpreted as desperation? Fear? Maybe it was both. I shook my head as I pulled my laundry out of the washer and put it into the dryer. A mystery... 


	2. Partners

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. Natsuki Takaya does.  
  
Chapter 2: Partners  
  
The next day I showed up at the library early. I ignored my excitement and told myself I only arrived early because I also needed to find some references for another paper I had to write. Isuzu-san hadn't arrived yet (why did I think of her as Isuzu-_san_? Something in her manner must intimidate me) and I ignored my disappointment. I listlessly found some references for a paper I needed to work on and settled at a deserted table in a corner. I easily lost myself in research and was surprised when I heard her pull out the chair across from me.

"Gomen, Tamae-san. I didn't intend to disturb you." Her voice told me that she had. I ignored the flare of irritation at her callousness.

"Ie, I was just doing research for another paper. How are you today?" She stared at me.

"I'm fine. No different from yesterday." She rubbed the back of her neck. "What are you studying?"

"I have to do a paper on technological improvements in the Industrial Revolution and its impact on society. It's interesting."

"Interesting? Sounds boring." She snorted again. It startled me that such a rough sound could come out of such a lovely face.

"No, it's really fascinating. All those improvements, and yet people still weren't happy. In fact, crime rose as more improvements were made. And the gap between the rich and the poor widened—"I stopped myself. She stared at me again.

"You really like history, don't you?"

"Yes. It's like a huge storybook that actually happened. It's fun to think of all the people you read about actually living and breathing, having to eat and sleep and go to the bathroom!" I couldn't help getting excited about it. I guess it showed, because a ghost of a smile quirked at the corner of her mouth. I realized that she didn't _want_ to like me. She was fighting to keep aloof. In that moment I became determined to become more than just her partner. I wanted to be her friend. I wanted to break through that wall she had around herself and show her that it was okay to let people in sometimes.

"I never thought about it like that." She said. Her mouth was once again stubbornly set and her eyes were flat. She waved her hand at my accumulated mess. "Can you move this stuff? I don't want to lose your places." I blinked.

"S-sure." I wrote down page numbers and text titles, closed books and stacked them neatly on a corner of the table. Once I was done, she glanced about her before pulling the fat scroll I'd seen before out of her bag. It was wrapped in a scarf to protect it from any damage. I couldn't deny that I was excited to see it. She set it on the table, her face serious as she carefully unrolled it. I leaned in to get a closer look.

"Where did you find this?" She jumped at my question before glancing around again. When she answered it was barely a whisper. "At the main house. In a corner of the records room."

"The main house?" Her mouth set in that expression that was becoming familiar. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. We're partners, right?" She blinked at me for a moment before turning away, arms crossed over her chest. I returned to my inspection of the document before me. The kanji was unusual, with weird marks in strange places. At first glance, it looked almost like a child's writing. I looked back at Isuzu- san and chose my next words carefully.

"We're going to need to find the primer."

"The primer?"

"Yes. I'm studying ancient Japanese writing right now and this is nothing like that. On the surface I'd say it is, but see these odd marks? I've never seen anything like them. I think it's written in some sort of code. We'll need to find the key to translating it." Her shoulders fell.

"How long will it take?" I shrugged. I couldn't let her see my excitement at such a challenge so I kept my eyes on the scroll.

"Who knows? A day, a week. It could take months or even years." If anything, her shoulders fell even lower. She rested her face against her hands and looked at me as if I'd just told her her dog had died. "Relax, Isuzu-san. We're in this together, ne? I'll help as much as I can."

"I shouldn't have asked Tamae-san to help me. I don't know if I'll even be able to do anything with it once we know what it says."

"Why don't we show it to sensei? He might be able to help—"

"No!" I rocked back on my heels, stunned at the force in her voice. Heads turned in our direction. She took a deep breath and continued in a lower tone, "No one else can know about this." Her hand shook as she brushed back a wayward lock of hair. She looked angry and frightened. I stared at her for a minute as she composed herself, then forced my shoulders to relax and leaned back over the table. My hand grabbed hers, forcing her to look into my eyes.

"All right. I won't tell anyone. It'll take some time to find the right references, though. Can you wait?"

"I guess I'll have to." She didn't sound happy about it.

"Isuzu-san." She looked back up at me. "I'm guessing that they don't know you have this. Where are you hiding it?"

"I still live at the main house. I've just been hiding it in my closet."

"Do you mind if I take this with me? If it's that important that no one know you have this, it might be safer to leave it with me. I don't share my room with anyone right now." She stiffened, obviously unwilling to part with the document. Then she sighed in defeat.

"All right. Just let me know if you make any breakthroughs?" In spite of her reluctance, I smiled.

"Of course, Isuzu-san." I rolled up the scroll with what I hoped looked like efficiency and wrapped it in the scarf. Then I looked at her again, allowing my irritation at our previous encounter to color my words.

"Now, what was that crack about my needing new clothes about?"


	3. Friends and Ghosts

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own the character Mikage Tamae. :-P

And now for my one reviewer! Zap, thank you so much for your review! I know that Rin's not in the anime, but I agree that she is a fascinating character. However, dumb me that I am, I can't put myself entirely in her shoes so this is the best I can do, lol!

This chapter's kind of long, people. Get used to it. There are more long chappies in this fic than short ones! Gomen! Like it, hate it? Please R&R! (sobs) I need reinforcement!

Chapter 3: Friends and Ghosts  
  
It took months to find the primer. I searched text after text looking for some clue that would lead to understanding the strange characters (and they were characters) hidden within the kanji in the scroll. Whoever had written it was clever. He (or she) had chosen a record that seemed insignificant at best—a detailed history of daily life in the operation of the Sohma household. It described recipes, dishes used, foodstuffs, money spent on maintaining the kitchens. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought the odd marks were simply ink spots dropped inadvertently on the delicate paper. Ink had been precious back then, though; I knew that from my frequent conversations with my father. Paper had been even more precious. Neither would have been wasted.

The next semester, however, my breakthrough came in my ancient Chinese class. As I stared at the characters in my textbook, I had a sense that they weren't as unfamiliar as they seemed. I'm sure I had seen them before. The scroll! I stared intently at my textbook then waited impatiently for the lecture to end. I raced to my room after class, heedless of my classmates' exclamations as I rudely brushed past them. When I got to my room I locked the door and pulled out the scroll.

Of course! I stared at my textbook and back at the strange marks by some of the faded characters. So tiny I could barely make them out. To the average person it would simply look messy, or moldy. I pulled out a pen and began to write down the new set of characters I was now able to see, checking and rechecking to make sure I had it right. It couldn't be this easy. But apparently it was. That night, I called Isuzu-san.

"Moshi, moshi"

"Gomen, may I speak with Isuzu-san?"

"Rin-san? May I ask who's calling?"

"My name is Mikage Tamae. I'm in her history class." We'd agreed that we should have a plausible excuse for a complete stranger to call her. Coincidentally, she was in my history class.

"All right. Please hold on." Silence for a minute. I tapped my fingers impatiently.

"Moshi, moshi" "Isuzu-san? It's Mikage Tamae."

"I'll call you right back. Arigatou." And she hung up. I stared at the phone for a moment then replaced it on its cradle. Five excruciating minutes later it rang.

"Isuzu-san?"

"Hai. Tamae-san, you shouldn't call me at that number. Why didn't you call my cell?"

"You never gave me the number." Silence. "I found it."

"You did?!"

"Yes! I found the primer. It's in ancient Chinese. I'm surprised no one else found it."

"You didn't see the state of the records. I'll see you tomorrow. Arigatou, Tamae-san! Those notes will be so helpful! How kind of you to offer to loan them to me! Arigatou!" And she hung up. I guessed that someone had approached her. She was so paranoid...I wish she'd tell me why. I'd managed to get her to trust me a little bit; we'd go shopping together occasionally. Usually, she tried to get me to buy clothing that was more revealing than I'd like. But in six months, she still hadn't opened up as much as I'd like her to. _Patience_, I'd remind myself. I did like her. She was funny, even though she didn't realize it. Her comments were blunt and sometimes tactless, but her intuition was dead-on. She intuitively knew more about people than met the eye. It was fun to hear her comments about this or that classmate, the latest gossip, even the occasional slip about her family.

She didn't live with her parents. I guessed that something bad had happened, but she never spoke of it and I didn't ask. I rationalized that she would tell me if she wanted to. Once, when I asked her why deciphering the scroll was so important to her she replied before she caught herself "It's for Hatsuharu." Hatsuharu? Was that a person? I didn't ask because the moment she realized she'd said it aloud she crossed her arms and looked away from me, a clear sign that she wouldn't discuss it further. Another time we had been walking to class when a man called out and she whipped toward the sound, her face white.

"Shigure-san?" she'd whispered. Another person? Then she'd glanced at me, her face settling into its remote mask and I had shrugged.

"Somebody got up perky," I'd remarked diffidently. She let that ghost of a smile tease at the corner of her mouth as we continued on our way. It was odd that now I didn't even register how lovely she was. I was so used to seeing her that it only surprised me on occasions when I really looked at her. The next day was a Saturday and I woke up late to knocking on my door.

"Hold on, hold on." I'd been up late trying to decipher the oddly scratched characters on the record. I pulled on my robe and opened to the door to an impatient Isuzu-san, fully dressed and stunning. This was one of those times that her beauty amazed me. She charged into the room, staring. She had never set foot in my room before; she perched delicately on my one chair and looked about her in amazement.

"Isuzu-san is up early..." At my words, some tension in her broke and she glared at me.

"Early? It's 11 in the morning! What were you doing? How could you be sleeping?"

"Gomen, Isuzu-san! I was up late working on the primer..." I couldn't help but feel a little slighted. I was doing all the work for her! Granted, I loved it, but she could at least thank me! However, she settled down at my reply, waving a hand magnanimously.

"Ie, it's all right. Get dressed. We're going to celebrate!" I blinked at her. Celebrate?

"You've done it! You've figured it out! This calls for lunch, at least!" It was hard to figure out where her excitement had come from. This was so out of character for her!

"Gomen, but I haven't figured it all out yet." I stammered. "Yes, I discovered that the little spots are actually meant to turn parts of the kanji into ancient Chinese, but I'm still having difficulty with the word meanings..." my voice trailed off. She stared at me.

"You mean that the kanji is part of the code?"

"Ie. It's more like the person who wrote the code used parts of the kanji characters to hide her own..."

"Her?"

"I'm pretty sure whoever did it was a woman. I'm not sure yet, but I think it's a journal of some sort, hidden in kitchen records. She must have worked in the kitchens. It's strange, because women didn't usually know how to write back then. I mean, priestesses might have, but your average servant woman wouldn't know what to do with a brush and ink. And these look like she used a fine stick or something to trace the characters with. They're so light in places that it's difficult to decipher what the character was supposed to be..." She was still staring at me. "Well, at any rate it'll be slow going. I'm going to have to get a better lamp or something, and a magnifying glass. The characters are really tiny. No wonder archivists have bad eyesight!"

"Show me."

"Huh?"

"Show me what you have right now!" Hastily I pulled out the notebook I'd been making my notes in. The intensity was reassuring; her previous excitement had been disconcerting. I flipped it open to the page where I had written down my observations of the kanji and how they'd been altered. She read intently as I went down to the bathroom and made myself presentable. When I came back, she was reading my text on ancient Chinese and staring at the open scroll.

"You shouldn't leave this open like this. Anyone could see it." She didn't look at me.

"Gomen, Isuzu-san. I fell asleep while I was working. I'm not usually so thoughtless." She looked at me with that same intense stare.

"You're not going to wear that are you?" I stared at my clothing. She was daringly dressed, her usual cleavage-bearing top, short skirt and high boots accented by several gothic necklaces and black eyeliner. I was wearing a sweater and jeans.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's so...boring. You need some excitement, Tamae-san. That outfit does nothing for you! Where's that skirt I talked you into buying?" She began to rummage through my clothing until she found an outfit she felt was flattering enough that she wouldn't be 'completely aghast' at being seen with me in.

"You don't even have pretty shoes!" she tsked. I just stared at her. "What?" she asked baldly when she finally realized my shell-shocked expression.

"Who are you and what have you done with Isuzu-san?" She laughed.

"I'm in a good mood. Don't knock it. It doesn't happen that often anymore, you know. Besides, we're partners, ne? Can't have my partner making me look bad." She hesitated over the word 'partner', as though she wanted to use something else instead. Maybe it was my imagination. Either way, I held out my hands for the outfit she was holding.

"All right, you talked me into it. Now where are we going to eat?" After cleaning up my room and hiding the scroll ("Clever," was all she'd said when she saw the false books box I had created to hide it) we set out for lunch. There was a small café near the dorms that she'd scoffed at until she sat down and snacked on an appetizer.

"This is good!" She nibbled delicately. I noticed that she ate slowly, carefully. As though what she put in her mouth might hurt her. I smiled in spite of myself.

"Isuzu-san is a real mystery," I said. She looked at me.

"What's that mean?"

"Well, you try so hard to be tough and most of the time you succeed. But you're really nice. You just don't want anyone to realize it. I guess it's easier if you keep everyone at arm's distance, ne?" She leaned in to me and put a finger on my lips.

"Don't tell anybody. I have my reasons. I don't know if you would understand them. Just be satisfied with that." I smiled.

"I like being Isuzu-san's friend. I like that Isuzu-san is my friend. That's enough for me." She looked at me, eyes wide in surprise. "I do consider Isuzu-san a friend. You are funny, nice, and very intense. You have layers upon layers to you and it's nice that you've finally opened up to me, even if it's only a little bit. Arigatou." At that moment our lunch was served and we simultaneously changed the subject to the history class we shared.

"I have an idea!" I said as we left the café. "Let's go to an amusement park! It'll be fun. I haven't been to one in so long!" She pulled back from me. She seemed a little sad.

"It'll be too crowded on a Saturday. Why don't we go for a walk instead? Maybe do some shopping?"

"Okay," I gave in. An amusement park was fun, but spending a day doing anything but studying was welcome.

"Let's go! That way!" I pointed in a random direction, grabbed her hand and took off before she changed her mind. We wandered randomly throughout the day, stopping when we saw something that appealed to us. We ate when we were hungry and rested when we didn't feel like walking. During one of those breaks I noticed a young man following us. I didn't mention it to Isuzu-san, thinking it was my imagination. But a while later I caught sight of him again. It wasn't hard to do; his hair was very unusual.

I leaned in to Isuzu-san and whispered, "Check out that guy behind us! His hair is so cool!" She turned obligingly and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Haru-kun?" He kept walking towards us. She grabbed at my hand, pulling it behind her back. As he got closer I gasped. He was as beautiful as Isuzu-san was! And his style was similar. He wore a tight t-shirt, leather pants and had his ears pierced. Sunlight glinted off of several necklaces around his neck. Isuzu-san's hand, clutching mine behind her back, was shaking.

"Hello, Haru-kun." She said as he stopped in front of us. I crept closer to her, trying to convey my support. She was obviously dealing with something.

"Rin? I thought I had seen you. What are you doing here? They're worried about you at the Honke." Her hand tightened. He turned towards me and I was taken aback by his direct gaze. I bowed quickly.

"Hajimemashite! My name is Mikage Tamae. Isuzu-san and I were shopping..." I raised my free hand, which carried a small bag. I looked at him curiously.

"Hajimemashite. I am Sohma Hatsuharu." My eyes widened. It's for Hatsuharu. This was Hatsuharu! For Isuzu-san, everything we had been doing was for him.

She stiffened at our introductions as his previous comment registered. "The Honke can go to hell for all I care! I'm out with my friend. I'll be back later tonight. Besides, it's not like I'm still in high school and require a curfew. I'll return when I return." Through her tirade he simply stood, gazing at her with that stoic expression. I noticed that his eyes were gray. When she had finally wound down, he raised a hand to touch her shoulder and she flinched back. I looked from one to the other; I was slightly behind her so I couldn't see her face but I knew that there was another undercurrent here. I took a careful step back, letting him see our hands clasped behind her back. His eyes darkened and the corners of his mouth pulled down just slightly before he dropped his hand. Some emotion flashed in his eyes.

"I'll call Hatori and let him know. You should have at least let us know you were going out. Kagura nearly tore the house apart looking for you." His voice was nearly monotone, and she stiffened. I squeezed her hand and she relaxed slightly. I decided to take a chance. I released her hand and pointed at a crepe vendor nearby.

"I'm going to get a snack; would either of you like one?" Her eyes snapped at me; she knew what I was up to. I looked at Hatsuharu-san and he shook his head. He only had eyes for the beauty before him.

"I'll be right back. Don't beat him up too badly Isuzu-san!" I tried to make my voice light. She glared at me. I placed my order with the vendor, my eyes on the pair not thirty feet away. Isuzu-san had her arms crossed over her chest. Hatsuharu-san was standing with his hands behind his back, almost forcing himself to lean away from her. Neither of them looked happy. _He loves her_, I realized. He loves her enough to pull away from her. Did she love him as much? It's for Hatsuharu. Her words echoed in my mind.

_Ie_, I thought. _She loves him more. What happened between these two?_

"Here's your order." I absently paid the vendor and made my way back. They both turned towards me, their relief evident. I held out a strawberry crepe towards her, looking apologetically at him.

"I got you strawberry. Do you mind? We've been doing a lot of walking today so I figured you'd be hungry." I turned towards Hatsuharu-san.

"Didn't Hatsuharu-san mention making a phone call? I'm sure Hatori-san will be relieved to know that Isuzu-san is all right." He didn't miss my hint.

"Hai. He will be most relieved. I should get back to the Honke anyway. It was nice to meet you." He bowed.

"It was nice to meet you as well." I bowed in return. Hatsuharu-san looked around in confusion and Isuzu-san sighed and pointed.

"The Honke's that way. Don't get lost again." He bowed again and left, glancing at her one last time. She took my hand and stalked in the opposite direction. I smiled to myself as I munched on my sweet. I had discovered something else about Isuzu-san. She was in love!


	4. Truth, Lies and Belief

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Fruits Basket. Natsuki Takaya does (oh, to be that creative!) I do own Mikage Tamae.

Shorter chappie this time. Please R&R!

Chapter 4: Truth, Lies and Belief

For the next week I immersed myself in the scroll. The woman who had written it made no mention of how she was able to write, let alone in ancient Chinese. It was slow going; I had to constantly refer back to various references to make sure I had the right character and the ink was so faded in places I was never completely sure if some of them were accurate. I only saw Isuzu-san in class. Often she was staring off into space and I made a mental note to ask her about her notes. I didn't want to lose my closest friend in the university because she failed her classes.  
The next Saturday she knocked on my door, again at 11. I was so intent on 'the project' that I didn't even hear her at first.  
"Isuzu-san?"  
"What are you doing? Didn't you hear me knocking?" she stalked into the room, wrinkling her nose at the disarray around her. "Don't you ever clean up your room?"  
"I was working on the scroll."  
"And?"  
"She's an interesting girl, whoever she is. She was a servant in the household. Don't know how she knew how to write, but I'm not even close to halfway finished deciphering the characters. Would you like to see what I've got so far?"  
"Sure." I handed her a single sheet of paper. "This is it?!"  
"Um, yeah. It's not exactly an instantaneous process." She handed the single sheet back to me.  
"I'll wait. I'd rather read it all at once instead of in dribs and drabs. Why don't you take a break?" I looked at her. She was once again dressed in a revealing outfit.  
"Do you want to go to lunch again?"  
"I was actually thinking about cleaning this sty." I laughed; I couldn't help it. Her look of disgust was priceless. It _was_ messy.  
"Okay." I stood up, stretched and got to work. In a half hour it was spotless.  
"Guess that didn't take long. Want to go to lunch now?" she asked. I nodded. We went to the same café. She seemed preoccupied as she nibbled on the appetizer.  
"What's up?"  
"Huh? Oh, nothing I guess. I'm just a little distracted."  
"By Hatsuharu-san?" She straightened at his name, her eyes snapping. "That's better. I wondered what was up with you this week. You seemed kind of spacey. What's going on between you two anyway?" I could see that she was fighting an internal battle as she stared into her teacup. I just watched the emotions play over her face: resentment, love, worry, fear, and finally determination. She looked at me and sighed.  
"I guess I can tell you. He and I used to go out. I broke up with him about two years ago."  
"But you still love him." I made it a statement.  
"Yes. I still love him." The thought seemed to sadden her.  
"And he still loves you." I was sure of it. Her head shot up again.  
"I don't know about that. He did once; I know he still cares about me. But I don't think he loves me like that anymore. I killed that love."  
"Why?"  
"I had to. I couldn't let him be hurt by being with me. And he would have been hurt."  
"Are you so sure of that?" She nodded. "Didn't you trust him?" She glared at my question.  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Well," I thought carefully about what to say next. "I've read a lot of different books on love. Everything I've read leads me to two conclusions: love is the greatest thing in the world. It's also the hardest thing in the world."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, it's easy to love someone, isn't it? It's harder to believe they love you as much as you love them. Why didn't you have faith in the depth of his love for you?"  
"I...did. I just don't want to ever see him hurt. If I killed that love, that's nothing compared to what might have happened if I hadn't. He's a favorite and I'm...not. I'm not worthy of being loved by anyone, especially him."  
"Is that why you're doing this?" She nodded.  
"Maybe, one day, I can be worthy of loving him. And I can be worthy of his love. Right now, though, I'm nothing."  
"What do you mean?" Our food was served, but we were so wrapped up in our conversation we didn't notice.  
"My parents didn't love me. I thought they did. They went through the motions of loving me for eleven years. And then one day, they just stopped playing House and told me the truth: that I was a monster and they couldn't love me. It was the first time I truly felt...cursed. After that, I wanted to hold on to the fantasy, you know? But the more I tried, the more he hit me and she did nothing. It went like that for two years. They were really careful not to hit my arms, legs, or face. Just below the collarbone and above the thighs. When everybody found out they took me out of my parents' house and I moved in with Kagura's family. I was almost 14 then."  
I just looked at her, stunned. I knew something bad had happened to her, but I never guessed this. I tried to absorb what I was hearing as she continued.  
"And there was Hatsuharu. He helped me to come out of my shell. It hurt. I didn't want to love him, but somehow I just did. I knew I wasn't worthy of loving him. He's so gentle and kind. He knows what to say and how to say it. He sees so much more than people think he does. He still sees right through me. Even though I tried to distance myself from him, he hasn't given up. He still pursues me. I can't stand it! How can I protect him if I can't detach myself from him?"  
"Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you should try facing whatever it is together."  
She considered my words for a minute then shook her head. "It wouldn't work. We had to keep our relationship a secret because we knew we shouldn't be together."  
"But you love each other—"  
"Sometimes there's something that loves one more than the other. Like I said, he's a favorite and I'm not. He's loved and I'm not. I've never been loved like he has. I could never be loved like he is."  
"Stop it. Now you're wallowing. Isuzu-san is worthy of love. Especially Hatsuharu-san's love. I hope someday you'll see that." I looked down at the table. "Ano, when did our food get here?" She looked at me like I had lost my wits.  
"You're strange, you know that?" I laughed at her.  
"I'm happy that Isuzu-san has told me more about herself. I wish that she had had a happier childhood, but if she had she wouldn't be the Isuzu-san before me today, ne? Everything that's happened to you and everything you've done has made you who you are. And I like you. And I'm very hungry." I gave her a sad puppy look and she laughed and picked up her chopsticks.  
"Well, then, we should eat. Even though it's cold."  
"It's still good. And I'm too hungry to care. Ittadekimasu!"


	5. Shigure

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Which sucks. Tohru would make a fantastic babysitter! :-)

Please R&R! I know that Rin isn't as widely known as, say, Yuki but even if you don't know who she is read it anyway! (begs shamelessly) Pleeeaaase!

Chapter 5: Shigure

Our friendship improved after that. We began to spend more and more time together, talking about our families and friends. I knew she had difficulty trusting me and I understood finally why. She'd had a hard life. If I'd had her life, I don't know if I would have been able to approach me that day to ask for help. We did talk about 'the project' (as I've taken to calling it) and her paranoia over the subject was still strong. I wondered what she was so afraid of.  
A couple of weeks later, I was working on an assignment in the library. It wasn't as interesting as 'the project' but I couldn't afford to slack off in the middle of the semester. I had lost myself in comparing Kipling and Hemingway when a voice broke through my concentration.  
"You are Mikage Tamae?" I turned to see a dark-haired man standing over the table, lips curved in an engaging smile. He was wearing a dark suit.  
"Hai." He gave an exaggerated sigh of relief and settled in the chair across from me.  
"You're cute! When Haru-san told me that Rin-san had a new girlfriend I told myself 'I must see the girl who can befriend our little Rin!'. And here you are! You aren't quite what I expected, but then I wasn't sure what to expect! It's very nice to meet you!"  
"And you are?"  
"Oh, did I not introduce myself? My name is Sohma Shigure. What are you reading? Kipling? Hemingway?"  
"I'm working on an assignment for lit class. Compare and contrast two authors from two different periods with a similar vein. I chose adventure stories."  
"Is that how you met Rin-san?"  
"Ie. I met her while we were taking philosophy last year." He cocked his head, urging me to continue. His eyes sparkled with interest.  
"She seemed lonely," I continued. "And mysterious. I'm sure you realize how lovely she is, but she always ignored all the boys who were interested in her. I could never resist a mystery." He smiled.  
"So you became friends." It wasn't a question.  
"After a while, yes. We're taking a history class together this semester."  
"And what are you majoring in?"  
"I'm studying to become an archivist." His questions bothered me. Why was he so interested? I twirled my pen in my fingers nervously.  
"An archivist?"  
"Hai. My father's an archeologist, so I've been surrounded with history all my life. I love a good story. It's even better to decipher and preserve what people who lived hundreds of years before me have written. I'm not much good at writing myself, so I want to make sure that people can enjoy the stories of others after I've died."  
"You're such a romantic! How wonderful! You're a perfect foil for Rin-san's tough manner! I'm a writer myself, you know. Perhaps you've heard of me?" I stared at him blankly. "No? Well, as immersed as you are in the works of the past of course you haven't! I shall give a copy of one of my better-selling works to Rin-san for you!" Is this guy for real?  
"Ie, I couldn't accept such a gift. Ano, Sohma-san, how are you related to Isuzu-san?"  
"I'm her cousin. A couple of generations removed, but we have a large family and we've always been close." His eyes flickered for a moment. "She is a difficult girl to know, ne?"  
"Sometimes. She's like a river. It can appear smooth but the currents beneath the surface are strong and run deep. She's a little wild, too. She needs space and values her time to herself. I'm still learning about her."  
"You love her." Again, it wasn't a question but a statement.  
"Hai. She is a good friend." _And partner_. A small voice told me that this man in particular mustn't know about 'the project'. I had learned to listen to it where Isuzu-san was concerned.  
"And Haru-san? What did you think of him?" His voice was light, but I realized that this was no lighthearted conversation. This was an interrogation. I wouldn't tell him everything I had learned.  
"He was...interesting. He seems to get lost easily."  
"He does." Once more he urged me to continue without words. He leaned in, eyes focused intently on my face. I resisted the impulse to lean away. I focused on the pen in my hand as I flipped it between my fingers.  
"Hatsuharu-san was concerned for Isuzu-san because she had left the Honke without telling anyone. He seemed gentle but he didn't reveal much about himself." I looked at him over the twirling stylus. Immediately Sohma-san smiled that open, engaging smile. I summoned up my courage. "You aren't revealing much about yourself either, Sohma-san. I know you are an author and Isuzu-san's cousin, but not much else. Why are you so interested in her welfare?"  
"Well, we _are_ close."  
"She hasn't mentioned you. If you were that close, don't you think she would have?" Time for a little interrogation of my own! His eyes sparkled, appreciating the challenge in my voice.  
"She wouldn't. She's not on good terms with most of the family."  
"Your family is...large? That's unusual these days, isn't it?"  
"We like to keep to traditions." He leaned back into the chair, the image of relaxed attention. His hair fell over his forehead and I realized he was handsome, too. And he was just as intense in his own way as Isuzu- san and Hatsuharu-san were in theirs.  
"Where can I get some of your genetics?" He laughed outright at the question. _Did I say that out loud?_ I fought off a blush, trying to keep my horror from coloring my expression.  
"The Sohmas in this generation have been uncommonly blessed with good looks, ne?"  
"Hai, I noticed this. It is...intimidating." Take a page from Isuzu- san's book, I told myself. _Bluntness is best_. "But after a while, I became used to Isuzu-san's appearance. I don't notice it until I actually look at her these days."  
"And how has she been lately?"  
"We've been close. She's easier around me now than she used to be. Not so many walls. I doubt she'll ever let them all down for me, but I'm glad she trusts me enough to show me a little of herself. I'm happy that she's my friend." I was aware that I'd lost the advantage. Had I ever had it? I doubted it.  
"Are you? That's reassuring. Rin-san needs a friend like you, I think." His eyes glittered strangely as he said that. Then he leaned across the table and, before I could think to react, brushed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. I felt like my skin would bear the mark of those fingers for hours. He stood up, seemingly satisfied that he had made the right impression.  
"We'll talk again soon, Tamae-san. Ja ne!" He walked away, humming an odd tune to himself, hands in his pockets.  
  
"Isuzu-san? How are you feeling?" I sat up in bed, alarmed. She sounded terrible!  
"I'm all right. I'm just not feeling well. Would you mind taking notes in class today? I don't think I'm going to be able to attend." She sounded like she was in pain, but I didn't question her.  
"Ie, I don't mind. Just get better quickly! There's something I wanted to talk to you about, but it can wait until you recover." There was silence on the other end of the line.  
"What is it?"  
"Ie, it's not that important. Your health is a priority. Feel better, Isuzu-san!" I hung up the phone. I had wanted to tell her about my encounter with the enigmatic Sohma-san, but it could wait. She had had bouts of illness before, but never so bad she couldn't leave the Honke. I hoped she was all right.  
I didn't hear from Isuzu-san for three days. I took her notes for her, talked to some of her other classes and got the lecture notes from those for her. I immersed myself in the scroll. I was close to figuring out the breakdown of the characters now. I could feel it. I lost sleep, forgot to eat. Nothing mattered but discovering the meanings of the small, obscure characters. By the time Isuzu-san had recovered from her illness, I had news for her.  
"You look awful, Tamae-san." She once again surveyed the disaster that was my room, this time with resignation. "Have you been working all this time?"  
"Ie, I went to class and worked on some assignments as well. I also got notes from the classes you missed. I haven't been sleeping much, though. I'm so close!" I couldn't help the excitement that colored my voice. "I can't wait to see what story this has to tell us!"  
"It might not be a happy one. It might not be a story at all." I waved my hand at her doubts.  
"Doesn't matter to me. I just want to see what it is!" She gave me one of her more piercing stares. And my stomach growled.  
"Have you even been eating?" I stared at her. "What now?"  
"Isuzu-san, you're doing it again."  
"Doing what?"  
"You're acting out of character. You don't worry about my health. Isuzu-san has more important things to worry about."  
"Like what? Baka! You're my friend. Do you think I tell everyone even half as much as I've told you? Ie, you're one of the few people who know even that much about me. So I'm allowed to worry. Besides," and she flopped down onto the futon. "I can't translate that scroll. You can."  
"Ano, Isuzu-san."  
"Hai?"  
"I met another one of your cousins the other night. The night before you got sick." I twisted my fingers together. She stiffened. Her eyes snapped open, suspicion flaring.  
"Who?"  
"Um, Sohma Shigure-san." She bolted upright.  
"Was this what you wanted to talk to me about?"  
"Hai. I wanted you to know that he approached me. At the library." She was pacing the small room.  
"What did he want?"  
"He said he had heard from Hatsuharu-san about your having a girlfriend and wanted to meet me."  
"Wow, talk about a flimsy excuse. What else did he say?"  
"He asked me about myself, my schooling. He asked about our friendship. He wanted to know my impressions of you and Hatsuharu."  
"What did you tell him?"  
"I told him that you were like a river with deep currents and that Hatsuharu-san seemed gentle and got lost easily." She smiled at that. "I tried to be like you, Isuzu-san. I answered honestly, but with as little detail as possible. It was not a comfortable experience to be interrogated like that."  
"Interrogated, huh?" She stared at me.  
"Hai. He was laughing and smiling but he was not making idle conversation. He wanted to know something. I don't know if he got the answers he wanted."  
"I would be amazed if you did. Shi-san laughs a lot, but underneath he's a completely different person. He's ruthless. Be careful of him, Tamae-chan." My eyes widened at the change of address. Had I just proved my faithfulness to her? My stomach growled again.  
"I suppose we should go eat breakfast. You need to eat!" Isuzu-san laughed at my expression. "Really, Tamae-chan, don't you think it's time we dropped the –san and became more familiar? After all, it would seem we're both in this for the duration, ne?" She laughed and I was stunned, all over again, by her beauty. Then I laughed with her and we made our way towards the Student Hall.


	6. Tranlation's Beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. Natsuki Takaya does. The characters Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo, however, are my own.  
  
A/N: From here on out, Rin will be a little OOC. From what I remember, the manga doesn't touch on much beyond her intent to break the curse and her decision to push Hatsuharu away while she looks for it. Shigure may also be a little OOC. My intent is for him to be a catalyst to keep this story going, so if he is forgive me!  
  
Replies to reviewers (thank you so much for reading thus far! Please keep doing so!):

Sophie-chan: I don't know about Sandra Bullock doing the voice for Rin. She's always seemed a little too girl-next-door to me. Rin needs someone who can portray her bitchiness as well as her angst. My first thought would be Christina Ricci or maybe Lucy Liu, but that's just me! :-)  
  
Akutenshi: Thank you so much for the compliments! I agree that there aren't enough fics out there about Rin. She's a fascinating character. I'm glad you like the POV and aren't turned off by Tamae. As for the curse, keep waiting, lol! It will come into play in later chapters.  
  
And now...Chapter 6! Please R&R!  
  
Chapter 6: Translation's Beginning

_My name is Sohma Haruko. I am a servant in the main house. It is the only world I know. Sometimes I dream of another world, but that dream is impossible. He is beautiful. He is kind. He is...wonderful. He is my love. I see him everywhere I go—the gold chrysanthemums in autumn remind me of his eyes, the snow in winter reminds me of his beautiful hair. The pale flower petals of spring remind me of his skin. The soft night of summer reminds me of his voice. But I cannot have him. He is so far above me that wanting him is like wanting to touch the stars in the heavens. How could he possibly know I exist? I could not presume so much! I must content myself with glimpses of him, with barely overheard murmurs of his voice. After all, I am a servant in the main house. His world is far above mine._  
  
I put down my pen and stretched carefully. The library was quiet at this time of night. I had laboriously copied each and every character, its placement and corresponding meaning so that I could bring them here and leave the delicate scroll in its hiding place. Isuzu-chan still grumbled at my working so hard, but now that I was in the translation phase I felt as though I were about to win a race and had to hurry to the finish. The work had taken more of my time than I cared to admit.  
"Hard at work, I see. Tamae-san, you aren't taking care of yourself." I stiffened at the voice behind me. Sohma-san! I laid a hand over my work; I had been careful to find some innocuous texts on ancient Chinese to make it appear that I was working on a school project.  
"I have been busier than usual, Sohma-san. What brings you here today?" I knew what had brought him: he wanted to know more about Isuzu- san's welfare.  
"Nothing, really. I'm torturing my editor. My feet found their way here of their own free will."  
"I see. Have a seat." As he sat down I carefully closed my notebook and organized my papers and textbooks. I was sure he had seen what I had been working on; when I work I become completely focused on what I'm doing and my surroundings fade away. I don't know how long he stood behind me.  
"What can I do for you?"  
"I came to apologize. Rin-san raked me over hot coals for coming to see you so unexpectedly. She is very protective of you."  
"Is she? There is no need for her to be. I doubt I was able to tell you what you wanted to know." He gave me a piercing stare, not unlike Isuzu-san's when she knows I'm not telling all I know. I began to twirl my pencil in my fingers.  
"A nervous habit?" His gaze lingered on my hand.  
"Hai, a habit. I do it when I'm thinking."  
"And what is Tamae-san thinking about?"  
"I'm wondering why a celebrated author such as you would bother himself with my affairs." _Bluntness is best_. Isuzu-chan had taught me much about dealing with her family. I leaned back and looked at him. Unlike our previous encounter, he was not in a suit. He was wearing a gray yukata. He seemed more comfortable in the traditional attire.  
"Ma, ma, do I need a reason? I find you to be an interesting person, Tamae-san! Rin-san is happier since she's known you. To inspire such change in my cousin, you must truly be remarkable!" I raised my eyebrow at his flattery. I was tense after Isuzu-chan's warning. I couldn't let myself trust him. "I was hoping I would find you here, actually."  
"So you weren't just wandering about aimlessly?"  
"Ie. Have you had lunch yet? It's too early to ask you about dinner." I shook my head. In truth, I hadn't eaten all day. I had wanted to get started on the translation. As a result I was a little lightheaded and I knew it put me at a disadvantage with this man.  
"Then please let me buy you something to eat. You look pale. You don't want to come down with a cold from overwork and lack of nourishment, do you?" I shook my head numbly. At this point, it was far easier just to flow with this particular river than try to swim against its current. I gathered up my belongings.  
"If you don't mind, I have to stop at my dorm. I should drop these off." He nodded and followed me to the large building.  
"Please wait here, Sohma-san." I asked him once we'd reached the lobby. "I'll return shortly." I slowly made my way to the stairs, racing up them once I was sure I was out of eyeshot. Once in my dorm I ran to the phone.  
"Moshi, moshi!"  
"Isuzu-chan? It's Tamae."  
"Tamae-chan! I thought you were at the library?"  
"Sohma-san found me there. He has asked me to lunch. What should I do?"  
"Did you accept?"  
"Hai. It seemed easiest at the time. I haven't eaten yet today, and I'm not up to facing him without a full stomach."  
"Free food is better than no food at all, in spite of the company, ne? Just be careful, Tamae-chan. He can be very...subtle when he wants to be."  
"There's something else. I don't know if he saw what I was working on in the library. I didn't have the scroll with me, but I did have my notebook. I was beginning the translation when he surprised me."  
"At least you didn't have the scroll." She sighed. "We've come too far now, Tamae-chan. He was bound to find out eventually. Just watch yourself around him, okay? Call me when you get back." I could tell she was nervous. It made my stomach tense even more.  
"Gomen, Isuzu-chan."  
"It's all right. I've been expecting this since you told me he met you the first time. He's never been one to like others keeping secrets. Besides, I know how you get when you work. Couldn't be helped. You've been cooped up in that room of yours for far too long. Now go, before he gets too suspicious. I'll be waiting for your call."  
"Hai." I hung up the phone. I went into the washroom and bathed my face, then rejoined Sohma-san downstairs.  
"Gomen, Sohma-san for making you wait. I had a phone call." It was the truth. He smiled at me and waved away my apology.  
"Ie, it's all right. I've been enjoying the day!" He opened the door for me as we left the dorm. "Is there a place nearby we can eat? I don't want you to walk too far." I shot a glance at him, but he appeared to be concerned, nothing more. I mentally sighed. This was not going to be easy.  
"Hai, there's a café not far from here. Isuzu-san and I lunch there often." I carefully reverted back to my previous address of my friend.  
"That sounds perfect. Lead the way!" As we walked, we spoke of my schoolwork. Another semester was almost over and finals were around the corner. I wasn't worried. I'd always been good at taking tests, and I had very little difficulty with studying. My work ethic was another trait I inherited from my father.  
"I noticed that you were looking at texts on ancient Chinese. Any particular interest in it?" Time for the interrogation, I thought. Kami, I hope he didn't see the Sohma name on that page!  
"I'm taking a class on ancient Chinese language. You'd be surprised how much out there is written in it." He nodded at me to continue, but we had arrived at the café and were shown to our seats. We sat in silence until our tea was served. He took a sip from his cup and sighed.  
"Much better. It's hot out, isn't it?"  
"Do you think so? I like this time of year. It's almost summer."  
"You like the summer?"  
"Yes and no. I like the rain in summer. I used to dance in the rain as a child. It would alarm my mother. She was constantly afraid I would catch sick. My father would just laugh at her and explain that viruses made people sick, not the rain." I smiled at the memory. My parents were quiet people and my father's work took him all over the world, but they were happy.  
"You had a happy childhood?"  
"Hai. It was very happy." _Not like Isuzu-chan's_. "It's hard to believe that some people don't have that kind of life." He straightened almost imperceptibly, but his face stayed mobile, relaxed.  
"No," he replied. "Some people don't. But some of those people don't see their lives that way. I know a girl who sees only what she has, not what she's missed or what she lacks. Her outlook is amazing. So is her cooking." His lips curved in a wide grin. I was taken aback by that smile. It looked...greedy. He caught my alarm and his face smoothed into a more charming expression. "Do you know how to cook, Tamae-chan?"  
"Enough to know how not to burn rice," I laughed. "Truthfully, I was too wrapped up in books to pay attention to things like that. I would not make a very good wife right now. Even Isuzu-san chastises me on the state of my room!"  
"Does she?"  
"Hai. She calls it a sty!" I laughed. It happened every time she came to my room. _Tamae-chan, why don't you clean this place up? It's a sty!_ "She also thinks the way I dress is boring. When we go shopping she's always urging me to buy something more daring."  
"Like the clothing she wears?" He had settled back into his seat, completely relaxed now.  
"Ie. Not quite that daring, but more revealing than I'm used to." I gestured at my shirt and pants. "She convinced me to buy this shirt, but she has yet to convince me not to wear the pants!"  
"It sounds like you do it on purpose, ne?" I straightened at the challenge in his voice.  
"Hai, I suppose that's how it sounds. And I do like getting a rise out of Isuzu-san on occasion. She's stunning when she's excited about something. But I like these pants. I don't have to worry about any untoward attention if I dress the way I do. My goal is to become an archivist; I can't afford to get sidetracked now, least of all by boys." He laughed outright at my bluntness.  
"You are so refreshing, Tamae-san! You remind me of someone I dated a long time ago." I tilted my head to the side, considering.  
"What happened with her?"  
"She ended it after a month." I couldn't help myself. I laughed. He was entertaining company. Our food arrived, and we both took chopsticks in hand and ate in silence. I slowed once I was about halfway through. I had eaten so little in the past few weeks that my stomach must have shrunken; I was nearly full. He noticed.  
"Gomen, Sohma-san. I haven't been eating much lately and I don't seem to be able to finish this." He waved away my apology.  
"I went to university myself, Tamae-san. I remember what it was like before finals. Although," and he winked at me, "I had other distractions as well." I blushed at the innuendo.  
"Arigatou."  
"If you don't mind my asking, what were you working on when I happened upon you? It looked interesting." I blinked. Subtle, Isuzu-chan had said. _About as subtle as a 2x4 to the head_.  
"It's my final project for my class. We're supposed to translate a work assigned to us and we're graded on its accuracy. My assignment appears to be a journal of some sort." I looked down at the food on my plate, absently pushing it around. I didn't feel like eating anymore.  
"A journal? How interesting!"  
"Do you think so? I was surprised, myself. To think someone wasted ink and paper on something so trivial back then, they must have been very wealthy."  
"Why do you say that?"  
"Do you remember my telling you my father was an archeologist? It's not terribly glamorous, but I did learn a lot from his work. I know that ink and paper were expensive—the average household couldn't afford it. To be able to buy both and use it for one's personal revelations is something only a wealthy person could do. Otherwise it would have been used to keep household accounts or send messages." He stared at me for a moment.  
"You are a very observant person Tamae-san. I would have never considered that possibility." I nodded at the compliment. The waiter came with our bill and I reached for my purse, but he waved me away.  
"I'll pick up the check. This conversation has been...enlightening." He smiled at me again, his charm strong and I couldn't help but feel a pull of attraction. He is ruthless. Be careful, Tamae-chan. Isuzu-chan had been right.  
We walked back to my dorm in silence. Once there, I bowed to Sohma- san.  
"Arigatou, Sohma-san. I enjoyed your company." I straightened and was surprised at how close he was. Once again, he reached out and brushed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. Gooseflesh chased up my spine.  
"I am glad that Rin-san has a friend like you. It has been a pleasure, Tamae-san." He turned and walked away. I shivered and went into the building.  
  
Isuzu-chan didn't wait for my phone call. She knocked at my door a half hour after I'd returned. When I opened it, she looked like she was going to murder someone.  
"Daijobu? He didn't do anything pervy, did he?" I shook my head. "Well? Details, details! Tell me what happened!" She flopped down on my unmade futon. "You should really consider getting a bed. The futon's not good for dramatic flopping, you know?" I sat beside her.  
"I really don't know how to explain what happened." I told her honestly. "We went to that café that you and I lunch at. He asked me about school. He asked me about you. I told him how you're always commenting on my sty of a room and how you're always trying to get me to dress more daringly. And he asked me what I was working on when he found me at the library. I told him it was my final assignment for my class on ancient Chinese and that I was supposed to be translating it and I would be graded for accuracy. I told him it looked like a journal, and that the person who wrote it must be very rich to waste paper and ink like that. He told me I was a very observant person." I shivered at the memory. He hadn't sounded terribly pleased with that realization.  
"Did he do anything else?"  
"Hai. You are right, Isuzu-chan. He is very dangerous."  
"What did he do?" I could see from her face that she expected the worst. I wrapped my arms around her.  
"Nothing like that! He only touched my cheek. But I felt...odd. I don't know if I like this feeling. It's unsettling. And you don't trust him. It matters that you don't trust him Isuzu-chan." She hugged me back. She was tense.  
"Daijobu, Isuzu-chan? I'm all right, all in one piece. I don't know whether he knows what I was doing or not. I think he's going to leave me alone for a while."  
"Why do you think that?" We were still huddled together, and I tightened my arms around her.  
"He didn't say he would speak with me again."


	7. Love stories

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. Natsuki Takaya does. The characters Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo are my own creations.  
  
A/N: Be prepared for translations to take up a lot of space in the next few chapters. There is a point to all of this, I promise! :-)  
  
Chapter 7: Love Stories

  
_ I was assigned to clean his house today. To be so close! My hands shook as I went about my duties. To touch the things he has touched feels like I'm intruding on a place I should never be. I saw him as I was polishing the floor. He was in the small garden adjoining his house. I saw him bend down to touch a flower and he looked at me. He looked at me! I blushed so hot my face must have been bright red. I immediately resumed polishing the floor and when I looked up again he was gone._  
  
_ They haven't reassigned me, which is strange. Usually I am reassigned in a matter of weeks; I don't think they want any of the servants to have extended contact with them. I work every day tending to his house. I see him often. His beauty is blinding. Once, I saw him smile. I could only look at him in awe. He is beautiful when he is solemn, but when he smiles I have no words to describe how he looks. It's as though light shines from his face, blinding. He doesn't smile often. None of them do. I wonder why?  
_  
_ They still haven't reassigned me. Dare I hope that he has noticed me and wants me near? I am so silly. How could he want someone like me near him? He should be with company as beautiful as he is. Perhaps they have overlooked my extended stay here.  
  
It's winter now. I see him more frequently as the cold becomes deeper. He spends most of his time in the study, which is hot from the fire that is constantly blazing. He seems particularly affected by the cold. He doesn't go out. Sometimes when I work a shiver crawls up my spine and I imagine that he is looking at me. I am a silly, foolish girl to think such thing. What would he see when he looks at me. A simple girl, with calloused hands and a face chapped from cold. I am nothing compared to him.  
  
He spoke to me! He asked me my name. I was so nervous I couldn't speak. I just stared and stared at him. Finally, he sighed and turned away. I felt it like a blow. But he saw me! I am grateful for that. It is more than I had ever hoped for._  
  
"This is it? This is all you've got?" Isuzu-chan demanded. She shook the paper impatiently.  
"Gomen, Isuzu-chan! Between finals and my summer job I haven't been able to spend as much time with it as I'd like. But it's nice, isn't it? A love story!"  
"A silly story, if you ask me."  
"Isuzu-chan, you are not romantic in the slightest." I sighed.  
"Sometimes, Tamae-chan, it amazes me that you aren't throwing yourself at any guy who happens to look your way, you're so romantic." There was an edge to her voice. I heard it, but decided against saying anything just yet.  
"Gomen, Isuzu-chan." She sighed.  
"I know you're working hard, Tamae-chan. I'm sorry I'm so impatient. It wasn't an easy summer."  
"Did something happen?" I took the opening she offered.  
"Hai. A couple of cousins graduated from high school. I saw Hatsuharu at the ceremony with them. He goes to the same school."  
"He...does? He's in high school? I would never have guessed!"  
"Hai. He's two years younger than I am." She waited for my response. I wasn't quite sure what to say. I mentally shrugged. Love is love...  
"He certainly doesn't look it. He seems much older." Relief flickered across her face before she continued.  
"He didn't look at me once. He avoided me all summer. I think...I think I've lost him after all." She buried her head in her knees, her long hair spilling around her like a waterfall. I knelt beside her and hugged her. She was rocking back and forth like a child, her shoulders shaking with the effort not to cry.  
"It's okay to cry, you know." I told her. _Kami, I hope she can trust me with her tears!_ "It doesn't make you weaker. Sometimes you're stronger afterwards." Like a dam breaking, her body jerked and she suddenly threw her arms around me and wept for what seemed like hours. I could do nothing but hold her. I had no words that could comfort her.  
We didn't have any classes together that semester, but we still managed to find time to spend with each other. She seemed to have lost something. That spark of defiance I had known was gone. She was still blunt, but her words sometimes bore a cruelty that stung me. Once more I threw myself into the translation, hoping it would somehow help her heal.  
  
_ He asked me my name again, and this time I found the courage to answer. "Sohma Haruko, Sohma-sama" I told him. He smiled at me, a gentle smile. "Arigatou, Sohma Haruko. I am Sohma Minoru." I bowed to him and continued my duties. My hands were shaking so much I'm surprised I was able to complete them. I think I saw him smile more after that.  
_  
_He called me to him today. "Haruko-san, I would like to ask you something." "Hai, Sohma-sama?" He closed his eyes at my address. "Please call me Minoru, Haruko-san." "Hai, Minoru-sama." When I said this he seemed sad, but he waved me closer. "Tell me what you think of this." He pulled a scroll from the wall and unrolled it carefully. I couldn't help but catch my breath at the lovely drawings on the paper. They were all of a girl, a servant girl like me. There were pictures of her kneeling as she polished a floor, standing as she swept. There were even pictures of her brushing the tatami mats and hanging laundry. Every scene held a grace and a dignity that I could only dream of. "They are beautiful Minoru-sama! Who is she?" He looked at me sharply. "She is you, Haruko-san." I blushed so hotly my face felt it had been set on fire. I bowed as low as I could. "Arigatou, Minoru-sama. That girl could not be me. She is far too pretty!" "I have drawn these, Haruko-san, and I say the girl is you." He leaned down and wrapped his hand beneath my chin, making me stand and look into his face! He smiled at me, and something in his eyes made my heart beat fast in my chest. "You are a very pretty girl, Haruko-san." I couldn't look away from his eyes. They were so golden, like chrysanthemums in autumn. I don't know how long we stood like that, but I never wanted it to end. But it did end, and he pulled away from me. I bowed again. "Arigatou, Minoru-sama. Minoru-sama is very talented to draw me this way!" He closed his eyes and sighed. "You can go, Haruko-san. I do not want you punished for not completing your work."_  
  
_I still clean his house and serve his meals. When I work, I can feel his eyes on me. He hasn't approached me since he showed me his drawings. I don't know what to do. I have been given a taste of heaven. I should be grateful, but I find myself wanting more. I want to hear him say my name again, to tell me I am pretty. It is spring now but it is still cold. He sits in his study most of the time. I don't know what he does in there. Every day he is visited by one of the others. Why doesn't he go outside? I see him looking out the windows sometimes and he looks like a child wanting something he cannot have. I wish I could give it to him.  
_  
_He left the house today. I feel lonely without him here. This house is so empty without him. I worked more than usual today to make myself forget that he was not there. When he came back, I was so tired I nearly fell asleep before I could serve him his evening meal. He noticed. I think he notices everything. He stopped me before I could clear the table. "You are tired, Haruko-san?" "Hai, Minoru-sama. I worked hard today." "Why do you work so hard?" I could only blink at him. "Because that is what I am supposed to do, Minoru-sama. I am your servant." He was quiet for a while. "Are you happy being a servant Haruko-san?" He was looking down at the empty bowls on the table and looked at me when I took so long to answer. "Haruko-san?" I felt tears sting my eyes. Happy? "No one has ever asked me that question before, Minoru-sama. That you ask it makes me happy." My tears fell down my cheeks and I buried my head in my hands in embarrassment. How could I cry when he asked me so tenderly? He pulled my hands away from my face and raised it so that our eyes met. The softness in his eyes made my tears flow faster and he bent and kissed them off my cheeks. When my tears were all gone he whispered, "I am glad that I could make Haruko-san so happy."_  
  
_When I sleep, my dreams are all of Minoru-sama. I love him more now than I thought possible. Before, I loved him as a child would a sweet. He was something unattainable. Now I can see his heart, which is gentle and kind and sad. He is lonely. I want to be with him forever._


	8. Fact Checking

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. The characters Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo are my own.  
  
A/N: This is a looong chapter, but I had so much fun writing Ayame that I couldn't help it, lol! He may be a little OOC; this is just my impression of him.  
  
Chapter 8: Fact Checking  
"How are you holding up?" I asked Isuzu-chan as we waited for our order. She shrugged.  
"I'm okay. It still hurts, but I'm okay. What about you? How are your classes going?" She deliberately changed the subject.  
"They're harder than I thought they would be. One of the sensei's is fun, though."  
"Is he?"  
"Yes. On nice days he likes to go out into the gardens and pretend he's Buddha. We all gather around him and take notes as best we can with our arms cramping from holding our books for a stable surface!" she laughs with me. It's the first time I've heard her laugh in a while. "Isuzu- chan, I think I'm ready to buy some of those outfits you've been pushing me to try on for the past year. Would you come with me so I don't chicken out?" She grins.  
"Would I?!"  
We spent the day touring her favorite shops. I didn't realize her costumes require so many different stores to complete! I think I spent my entire allowance for the semester but I didn't care. It was good to see her smiling again. She even managed to talk me into buying a new perfume. I've never worn perfume before, but I found myself enjoying the slightly spicy floral scent. I couldn't stop smelling my wrist.  
"What did you say this scent was called again?"  
"I didn't. It's not a fragrance you can pick up at just any store." She sniffed indignantly at my ignorance.  
"It's not?"  
"Ie. That's made with sandalwood, linden blossom and carnation. With a tiny hint of jasmine."  
"Oh." I was mystified. She snorted.  
"It was blended just for you. They have the recipe on file if you want to buy it again. Since you didn't name it, it's filed under your name. They can add it to lotions, oils, soaps, whatever you want."  
"I like it." I hugged her. "You are so good to me! Arigatou!"  
"Arigatou, Tamae-chan." She replied. "I think you're the best friend I've ever had."  
I stared at her. "What?" she snapped, and I laughed uproariously.  
  
_ I know he cares for me. He shows me every day when he says my name. He sees me. Does he love me? I don't know. I'm not sure I want to know. How could someone as splendid as he is love someone as simple as I? But I want to know more about him. He called me to him again today. "Haruko- san, are you finished with your duties?" I had been scrubbing the floor and I looked up at him. It's hard for me to look at him sometimes. I feel shy. "Ie, Minoru-sama. I will finish soon." He nodded and walked into his study. When I had finished, I followed him. "Did you wish to speak with me Minoru-sama?" "Hai. I wanted to ask you a question." He gestured me closer. I knelt as close to him as I dared. "What do you know about me and the other jyuunishi?" "Jyuunishi, Minoru-sama?" "Yes, the twelve people you see visiting me. What do you know about them?" I thought about it. "I don't know much, Minoru-sama. I know that you are just beneath Katsuo-sama in power. I know that the servants are often rotated through the houses of the inner court so that none of us stay too long in one place. I know that we're not allowed to speak with you or even look at you Minoru-sama." I looked down at my hands. He was quiet for a while. His hand covered mine. "You aren't allowed to touch us either, ne?" he asked. I blushed again. I think I will never stop blushing around him. "We are never to get close enough to be able to Minoru-sama." He squeezed my hands. "You are breaking a lot of rules aren't you Haruko-san? Aren't you scared what will happen to you?" I found the courage to look into his beautiful eyes. "Ie, Minoru-sama. I am not afraid. I am so grateful that Minoru-sama has seen me that I could never be afraid." "Seen you? Is that so important to you Haruko-san?" "Hai," I whispered. "Before, I was invisible. I cleaned and served meals but no one wanted to see me. I was just a face. To them, I had no name. I was no one. But Minoru-sama asked me my name and asked what I thought and asked if I was happy. Minoru-sama saw me." I looked down at my hands again. I am such a silly girl! He was silent for so long that I looked at him again and I saw that he was looking down at our hands. His shoulders shook and I realized he was crying. "Minoru-sama, please don't cry!" I begged him. I held his hand in both of mine and kissed it over and over. "Please don't cry! I don't want you to every cry! Minoru-sama makes me so happy! I love Minoru-sama! Please don't cry." His hand was holding my cheek and I looked up to see tears streaming down his face. But his eyes were not sad. He leaned towards me, one hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulders and he kissed me! He kissed me! It was a gentle kiss, sweet and I felt all my love for him well up inside of me in that one kiss. I held his face between my hands, never wanting it to end. But in the end he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. "Haruko-san has made me very happy." He whispered softly and for the first time I smiled in his presence.  
_  
"Wow," Isuzu-chan said in a low tone. "I wonder if this really happened?"  
"There's one way to find out," I replied. "We could always sneak back into the records room at the Honke and dig around for some birth records. I get the feeling that this story didn't take place when the record was originally taken. I think that Haruko was sneaking into the records room and writing it down on something that had already been used."  
"She seems like a smart girl. She's a little dippy in her writing, but if she was smart enough to know how to write ancient Chinese and write in code, I guess it's worth a shot." Isuzu-chan sounded reluctant. "I don't know if I could go back there, though. Maybe there's another way." She grabbed my hand.  
  
"Ayame?" I asked her. "Why are we at a lingerie shop?"  
"Because he's a sucker for a love story." She waved the translation she had never released in the general direction of the store. "And he's less suspicious than I am. And supposedly he knows his way around the records room." She dragged me into the shop. I looked around me in awe. Bolts of fabric and notions were everywhere. Normally I would have made a beeline right out of a place like this. Isuzu-chan pulled me further inside.  
"Hajimemashite! How may I help you?" Came a light, feminine voice. I saw a grown woman wearing a schoolgirl outfit, complete with loafers. Her hair was in braids and she wore glasses. "Rin-san! Have you come to speak with Ayame?"  
"Hai. Is he here Mine-san?" There was a rustle from the back of the store and I heard a man say "Mine, who is it?"  
"Rin-san is here to see you Ayame!" Mine clapped her hands in excitement. Isuzu-chan cringed. And I beheld the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen in my life. If I were someone who swooned, I probably would have. Ayame had long silver hair and wide green-gold eyes. His features were so delicate that I would have mistaken him for a woman if his voice hadn't been so deep.  
His eyes rested on Isuzu-chan and he exclaimed, "Rin-san, finally you have made it too my shop! After all my years of begging you have accepted my plea to model my most splendid creations! Mine, surely the angels have smiled upon us again!"  
"Surely they have, Ayame! She is as beautiful as you said she was!"  
"Of course she is, Mine! She is nearly as beautiful as I." He peered around Isuzu-chan and spied me trying to look invisible. "And who have we here! Rin-san, you never told me that Haru spoiled you for all other men! Who is this lovely girl?" I could feel her trembling as he continued, "Come out, come out! Of course you're hiding in Rin-san's shadow, no other woman compares to her physical perfection but you are simply too lovely to hide away! You must stand out in the light!" He grabbed my hands and pulled me (he was stronger than he looked) away from my friend. She had a glazed look in her eyes and I'm sure I did as well.  
"I am the soon-to-be-famous Sohma Ayame, wondrous designer who brings fantasies to reality! And you are?" I blinked.  
"O-o-overwhelmed." I said the first thing that came to mind. Isuzu- chan stared at me and her mouth curved in a smile. _Bluntness is best_...  
"Of course you are, beholding such splendid a man as I know myself to be! I would be surprised if there was a woman anywhere who wasn't overwhelmed by my charisma, my charm, my style!" I stared at him as he continued to stroke his own back. Isuzu-chan finally came to her senses and walked to my side.  
"He's a bit swishy, isn't he?" I asked her quietly. She laughed, breaking into Ayame's monologue.  
"Ah, but I digress," he changed topics abruptly. "What brings you to my humble shop Rin-san?"  
"I'd like to speak to you about something in records." His eyes widened. He turned to Mine and asked her to mind the shop. Then he ushered us into the back room, closing the curtains with a _snap!_  
"Something in records, you say?" He peered at the two of us, all fruitiness now gone from his demeanor. "Sit, sit! I'll make us some tea. I think you have an interesting story to tell me, Rin-san. And you must be Tamae-san. Shi-san has told everything he knows about Rin-san's best friend." He winked conspiratorially at me and I blushed. What had Sohma-san told him? He rushed off.  
"Is he always like that?" I asked her. She nodded.  
"Most of the family can only take him in small doses, myself included. He, Shigure-san and Ha'ri grew up together. They're best friends."  
"Ha'ri?"  
"Sohma Hatori. Another cousin. He's the only one that Aya-san will listen to without being obnoxious."  
"Oh. I think I remember Hatsuharu-san mentioning him when we ran into him six months ago." Isuzu-chan nodded. Her eyes had dulled at the mention of Hatsuharu-san's name. We sat there in silence while Ayame finished the tea. When he returned, she thrust the pages in her hand at him wordlessly.  
"Read, onegai." We sat in silence, sipping the tea as Ayame read what I had translated. His face was even more expressive than Sohma-san's; at one point his eyes widened and as he finished he blinked way tears.  
"Where did you find this?"  
"I took a record from the Honke. There were these odd marks on it and Tamae-chan here has been deciphering it for the last year. This is all she's been able to translate so far." He looked at me with new respect.  
"You've had the record for the last year?" He directed the question at the both of us. Isuzu-chan looked at me.  
"Hai." I replied. "It took me six months to realize that the odd marks that looked like mildew or ink stains were really ancient Chinese characters written into the kanji. I've been trying to decipher it ever since." I looked down at my teacup.  
"It's a wonderful story. Why did you bring it to me?"  
"We wanted to ask you if you'd go through the birth records and see if either of these two people actually existed. I figured Aya-san is in there so often that it would raise fewer eyebrows if you went. You know how Akito-sama watches me like a hawk." Ayame nodded in understanding. "Besides, I know I can trust you with this. You kept my other secret when we could trust no one else."  
"But of course I did, my dear girl! Who am I to stand in the face of young love and proclaim it false!" For a moment his former ebullience resurfaced before he became serious once again. "I will look for you on one condition," and he shook a finger at Isuzu-chan's groan, "You must model for me, Rin-san. I would love to see you in something other than those horrid, confining garments of yours. Beauty such as yours should be worshipped by clothing, not screamed from the rooftops as your attire so often does!" She rolled her eyes.  
"Promise me, Rin-san!" She bit her lip, closed her eyes and nodded.  
"What was that? I can't hear you!"  
"ALL RIGHT! I'll do it." She yelled at him. He smiled so joyously that I couldn't help smiling in response.  
"Mine! Did you hear that? Rin-san has agreed to model for me! She practically BEGGED me to do it and Tamae-san is beside herself with joy at the idea of our dear Rin-san in my magnificent creations!" I blinked. Huh?  
"One other thing, Aya-san," Isuzu-chan bit out. She grabbed one of his hands as it gesticulated wildly. "No one is to know about this. Not even Shigure-san. Especially not Shigure-san. He's bothered Tamae-chan enough as it is." Her eyes were fierce. Ayame winked and nodded.  
"Of course, Rin-san. Shi-san isn't the only Sohma who knows how to keep a secret." Isuzu-chan nodded, gathering up the pages and grabbing my hand.  
"Let's go," she said. "Before Mine decides to dress us both up."  
"H-hai." I replied. _Dress us both up_? 


	9. Happy Coincidences

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own the characters of Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro, and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
A/N: Gomen, gomen! I just realized I forgot a chapter!!! OO This goes between 'Fact Checking' and 'Making the Connection'. I'm such an idiot! Answers a lot of questions I'm sure some of you have about how Tamae figured out the curse still exists...grrr. Now I'm mad at myself, lol! So here's Chapter 9. I'll edit Chapter 10 accordingly...sorry again everybody!  
  
Chapter 9: Happy Coincidences  
_ He does love me! I'm sure of it! He asks for my opinion more and more, holds my hands. He touches my face and tells me I should smile more. I smile all the time when I am with him, not because he tells me to but because I cannot stop myself. Every night, after I have served him the evening meal he asks me to sit with him and we talk. We talk about everything. He wants to know more and more about me. I answer his questions and my answers seem to make him even sadder. He says he never realized how difficult a servant's life is. Difficult? How can my life be difficult if it has brought me to him? If I had not been a servant I would never have had the opportunity to clean Minoru-sama's home and truly fall in love with him.  
  
I now know the terrible truth about the Sohma jyuunishi. I know why Minoru-sama would never hold me. Why he always maintained a distance between us. It's also the reason why Minoru-sama spends the winter and early spring in his home, never going outside in the snow. I don't think he ever intended for me to find out. How could I have been so foolish? I am such a selfish girl. Because he never held me, I doubted his love. And so, I surprised him in his study. I wrapped my arms around him before he realized what I was about. I thought I had wanted to show him that I wanted to be held, to be closer to him. Instead I now realize that the closeness I craved is not to be. Wrapped in my arms, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared I found his clothing in a pile and a white snake coiling itself before me. I think I fainted for the next thing I remember is opening my eyes and finding myself laying on the floor, the snake beside me. "Haruko-San?" the snake asked with my love's beautiful voice. "Minoru- sama?" I looked frantically about the room, but only the snake and I were present. "Where are you?" The snake moved closer to me. "Haruko-san, I am here. I didn't want you to find out this way." "Find out what, Minoru- sama?" Surely, I thought, this must be a dream. I am still unconscious. Then the cloud of smoke appeared again and my love was kneeling beside me, covered only by his beautiful hair. "Minoru-sama? I don't understand. What happened to you?" I will never forget the look on his face-so sad and so afraid. Why would my love be afraid? "Haruko-san, I will explain everything to you. You deserve that much for the love you have given me but I fear that after Katsuo-sama discovers my error I will never see you again. Or I will see you and you will not remember me at all." He turned away from me and began to dress. His nudity had made me realize his beauty anew, and I looked away as my face heated. When he was dressed he helped me to my knees and knelt beside me. He kissed me so sweetly, but I felt a panic rising in my heart. It felt like he was saying goodbye in that kiss. I clutched at his hands. "Minoru-sama?" He sighed my name, pressing my hands to his lips and closing his eyes. "I will tell you everything, Haruko-san. The Sohma live under a curse borne by twelve members of the family-the jyuunishi." I stared at him. Was it possible? "We are possessed by the vengeful spirits of the zodiac. Whenever we are embraced by a member of the opposite sex or our bodies are considerably weakened we transform into an animal." I knew my eyes must look like saucers. I wanted to deny his words. I knew I could not. I had seen the proof of it myself. "I am possessed by the spirit of the snake." He fell silent for a while. He seemed to be fighting with himself. "You can see why that would make a relationship difficult." I shook my head in denial. I wanted to beg him not to let me go. I wanted to be by his side forever. "There is more. To the jyuunishi, Katsuo-sama is more than the head of the family. We cannot deny him anything he asks or demands of us. If he were to command me to forsake you I would have no choice but to obey. I do not want Haruko-san made so unhappy." There were tears in his eyes. "Haruko-san has made me happy with her smiles and her love. I know that Haruko-san is happy when she is with me. I do not want to lose that." "I do not care!" I found myself crying out. "I love Minoru-sama! I love everything that he is. The snake is a part of you, and you would not be my love if you were not possessed by it! Just as I cannot ever regret being a servant because it has brought me to Minoru-sama's side!" I stroked my hands from his face to his shoulders and kissed him with all the love and passion I had in me. "I do not want to think about what will happen! I only want to know what I feel now! I love Minoru-sama more than my own life! He sees me and he has entrusted me with his pain. How can I ever regret meeting him?" He simply looked at me. I think my outburst had surprised him. Then his look changed to a fierceness I had never seen before and I knew he had decided to give me the now I had begged him for without realizing it._  
  
I shook my head at the translation. A curse? That only happens in legends and fairy tales. Curses don't exist. Perhaps this wasn't a journal after all. Maybe it was simply a girl's fantasy story. Whatever it was, I was in too deep now. I decided to wait until I'd finished a little more before I showed it to Isuzu-chan.  
_It was the first time I truly felt...cursed._ Wasn't that what Isuzu- chan had said? I knew I had a good memory. When had she said that? It was after our encounter with Hatsuharu-san. She had been telling me about her parents. That's right! I leaned back in my chair and out of habit the pen began traveling through my fingers. Ayame-san had hair and eyes the same color as Sohma Minoru. _This will bear more thought.  
_  
"How are you doing, Isuzu-chan?" She was pacing again. She's been doing that more often lately. She's restless.  
"I'm FINE!" she yelled at me. I rocked back in the chair.  
"Have you heard from Ayame-san? It's been a while since we spoke with him."  
She sighed. "No, I haven't. I haven't had much contact with anyone lately. It's like they're avoiding me."  
"Is that unusual?"  
"Ie. It's more a feeling than anything else. Sidelong glances and the like."  
"I see." And I did. For a while lately I had been feeling like I was being watched but I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. She looked at me.  
"How's the translation coming along?"  
"Swimmingly. I've finally gotten to the meaty part. The last entry was long."  
"Can I read it?" I debated for a second before digging through the mess on my desk and handing her the papers. She paced as she read, her mouth set in that familiar mulish line. She paused at one point; I knew she had reached the part where Minoru had transformed. When she was done she handed them back to me.  
"Do you have any questions?" She knew I wasn't stupid.  
"Ie. I want to wait until I've translated more. I might have misinterpreted something. I'm going to have to go back and recheck my references." Was that relief I saw chasing across her perfect face? "Either way, I'm sure I'll have more in a week or so. What brings you here today?"  
"Shigure-san asked about you. He's the only person who doesn't seem to be avoiding me." Another look I couldn't identify crossed her features. There's so much I don't know about her.  
"Sohma-san? What did he want to know?" Why was my stomach tightening?  
"I don't know. He asked how your assignment went last semester. It took me a minute to remember that you'd told him 'the project' was something you'd been assigned in your ancient Chinese language class. I told him you got full marks. He seemed satisfied with it." She shrugged.  
"Then why are you pacing? Something's bothering you." I made it a statement. We had been friends too long for me not to know when she was upset.  
"I don't know! Shigure-san's never asked me about you before. It made me nervous, I guess. I think he saw more that day than we thought. He just had this look. Like a child who had hidden a prize. It irritated me." She threw her hands up in the air and looked around her. "I want to get out of here. Come with me?" I nodded. The translation could wait a few hours.  
Night had already fallen. She set a fast pace and I struggled to catch up. I knew she was holding back for my sake. Gomen, Isuzu-chan. I have lied to you again. I couldn't let myself feel guilty about it just yet. There was a deeper mystery here than just her uneasy relationship with her relatives. I knew the journal could help me learn what that mystery was. I just wasn't sure I could solve it for her.  
"You hungry?" She was always hungry. Another thing learned from a year of friendship. I nodded and she steered us towards a restaurant. As we sat waiting for our order I stared blankly into my cup of tea.  
"What are you thinking about?" I glanced up at her.  
"Haruko and Minoru. Secrets. I wonder if she ever told him she could write?"  
"It does seem strange. But then with our family, strange seems to be the norm."  
"What's it like? Being in your family?" She stared at me so long I felt I had asked something taboo. Show no fear... Another lesson learned from Isuzu-chan. Finally she broke eye contact and took a sip of her tea.  
"It's difficult. Most of us haven't had the best lives. Some are worse than others. You know I live with Kagura, right?" I nodded. "Well, she's got it better than the majority of us do. Her parents are pretty understanding. They're a little overprotective, but they're not as bad as some other parents." She glared into her cup. I knew she was thinking of her own parents.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dredge up old feelings." She shrugged.  
  
"It's still hard to believe sometimes. It's hard not to be angry. I know it's my fault, but...sometimes I wonder if my life would have been different if I'd been born a year earlier or a year later or to a different family." I shook my head at her. "What?"  
"If Isuzu-chan had been born at any other time and in any other place than she had been we never would have met. I never would have been able to get to know you."  
"You sound like Haruko."  
"I guess I do. I agree with her on a lot of points. Life is just a set of happy coincidences, isn't it?"  
"Happy?"  
"Well, for me anyway. When I first saw you I thought you were gorgeous! I thought you would be so popular and I wouldn't be able to get close to you. Kind of like how Haruko felt about Minoru. Like you were high above me." She looked surprised.  
"Really?"  
"Yes. I saw how you ignored all the attention, and I wondered why. You seemed so sad sometimes. I wanted to know why someone as beautiful as you would be so sad." Our order arrived and we began to eat.  
"And?"  
"And you know the rest. I asked you for the psychology notes and you were quite rude to me!" I laughed.  
"You lied to me about needing my notes."  
"Hai. A small lie. I didn't know how to approach you otherwise. I got the feeling that if I had walked up to you and said 'Let's be friends' you would have run in the opposite direction."  
"I probably would have. And if you hadn't happened to be studying to become an archivist and realized what I was trying to read I wouldn't have approached you later on." I nodded.  
"A happy coincidence, ne?" She looked at me intently before she smiled.  
"Hai. A happy coincidence, after all." 


	10. Making the Connection

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
A/N: I goofed! Gomen! Here's the correct appellation for 'Making the Connection'. I'm an idiot—now I really do feel like a total amateur! Like I said to any of you who read this as Chapter 9, Ayame is probably a little OOC. This is simply my interpretation of how he would react if faced with this situation. He does have a serious side, after all! Once again, sorry sorry sorry!  
  
Chapter 10: Making the Connection  
_Minoru-sama and I have continued as usual since that wonderful, terrible day. It was terrible because I now know the burden he must bear and I cannot share it with him. It was wonderful because, since that day, I have been convinced of his love for me. We share kisses and make love, hiding in shadows. The danger of being discovered adds an excitement to our encounters that heightens every kiss, every touch. We know we are not supposed to be in love. Yet with each passing day my love for him deepens. I think I would give my soul to hell freely if it would only save him from pain. He is in pain. I don't think he realizes my new knowledge of him. I know that he is now torn between his love for me and his devotion to Katsuo-sama. I know that if he were forced to make a choice, it would not be me.  
_  
_The summer has finally arrived! Minoru-sama is home even less than before. He goes to the gardens, visits the other jyuunishi. He avoids my eyes in the daytime when he walks along the paths. I understand why he must do this but sometimes, when I'm lying alone with the other servants at night, I wish that we could be accepted. I am a silly, selfish girl to have these thoughts! I must not want for more than what I have now! Only a year ago I was a faceless servant who cleaned and served meals. Only a year ago I worshipped a gentle, beautiful man without understanding who he was and why he never smiled. And now, I love that man more than my own life and I know he loves me. We were so separate and yet somehow we found each other. Now instead of a beautiful star in the heavens I see Minoru- sama for what he truly is: a gentle, kind, lonely man whose smile brings out my own and who sees in me a far better person than I know myself to be._  
  
_We have been discovered! I do not know how, but one of Minoru-sama's fellow jyuunishi came upon us as we kissed. We did not realize it until after we had broken apart and he had taken my hand and placed a kiss on my palm. Then we both heard an odd sound and my heart flew into my throat and plummeted into my stomach. Minoru-sama's eyes widened until it seemed they consumed his face and he whispered, "Shiro-san!" I raised my head to see a tall man coming towards us. His face was very serious. His hair was strange: it was white on top, but black hair was beneath it. "I see now why you smile more than you used to, Min-san. Katsuo-sama has noticed as well." He said the last as a warning. I did the first thing I could think of: I threw myself down to the floor in a servant's obeisance and begged desperately "Onegai, Sohma-sama, gomen-ne! I forgot my place in this house and confronted Sohma-sama! Sohma-sama was kind to one such as I and I came to believe I was more than a servant to him! Onegai, do not think less of him for my foolishness, Sohma-sama!" I heard Minoru-sama gasp behind me. Sohma-sama merely walked around me and I heard him say, "You are dismissed." I leaped to my feet and rushed off. I do not know what will happen now._  
  
_ I have been reassigned to another jyuunishi. He is the man who found me with Minoru-sama. As I go about my work I can feel his eyes on me. I do not like it. I keep my eyes on my work and do not return his gaze. I know he can find no fault with me as I clean and serve his meals, but I am afraid. I do not know what will happen.  
  
It has been a month since that day. I have not seen Minoru-sama. I have not heard his voice. At night, while the others sleep, I remember the sweetness of his kisses and when I wake I find my face damp with my tears. My new master's name is Sohma Yoshiro. He still watches me. I do not dare to return his gaze.  
  
He called me to him today. "Min-san tells me your name is Haruko- san." I bowed as low as I can. "Hai, Sohma-sama." "You are the girl he draws." It was not a question and I did not know how to respond. "Do you love him?" My eyes filled with tears even as I felt my face blush. They spilled down my face. "Hai, Sohma-sama." He sighed. I do not know how long I stood before him, staring at the floor with my tears flowing down my cheeks. I think I heard him mutter, "No good can come of this," before he dismissed me._  
  
_ I saw him today! My sweet Minoru-sama was walking with Sohma-sama in the garden as I carried water. He did not see me. He has lost weight. There are shadows beneath his beautiful eyes. He is as graceful as I remembered but he walks now as though carrying a heavy weight. Even so, my heart leaped at the sight of him. I wanted to throw off my yoke and rush to his side, to kiss his hands and lips. I wanted to cry his name and hear him say mine. I did none of those things. After a minute of filling my eyes with him I kept walking to Sohma-sama's home. As I walked, from the corner of my eye I saw Sohma-sama turn his head towards me. I quickened my pace._  
  
_Sohma-sama called me to him today to serve tea. When I entered the room I saw Minoru-sama at the table with him. My hands shook so much that I am surprised I did not spill any of the tea as I served them. I glanced at Minoru-sama as I set down his cup and our eyes met. He looked so sad! "Daijobu?" he whispered. I gave him the barest of nods before I bowed and left the room. Later I served Sohma-sama and Minoru-sama the evening meal and I could feel both their eyes on me. As I set his dishes before him, I felt his hand touch mine, feather light. I dared not raise my eyes to his. Once more, he is a star in the heavens beyond my reach. After I had finished, I knelt by the doorway, my eyes on the floor as they ate. After a while, Sohma-sama stood and left. He said nothing to either of us. I began to shake as I waited for something, anything. Finally, I heard Minoru-sama rise and he knelt before me. His hands caressed my cheeks, my hair, my arms. He raised my head and he kissed me so passionately. Even as I returned his kiss I began to weep. It had been so long since I felt his touch. I wanted to run my hands over him so I could memorize his form. I wanted my hands to remember the silk of his hair, the softness of his skin. I did nothing but return his kiss. And I wept. He kissed away my tears frantically. "Haruko-san." My star has reached down to the earth for me. I raised one hand, following its path to his face with my eyes until they met his. I wanted him to see how much I loved him and had missed him. He turned his face into my hand, covering it with his own. "I have missed you." "Hai, Minoru-sama. I have missed you as well." "Are you happy, Haruko-san?" I paused and he looked at me. I could not lie to him. "Ie, Minoru-sama. I hurt. I miss serving your meals and cleaning your home. I miss your touch and your voice." I stopped and looked away. How can I burden him with my pain? He turned my face back towards his. "I hurt as well, Haruko-san. Please smile. I have missed your smile so much. Shiro-san will not return. He does not approve but he will not tell anyone. Smile for me, onegai." I felt my lips curve even as I felt my body relax. Minoru-sama is with me again!_  
  
There is too much coincidence in this story. I walked determinedly downtown, stopping at Ayame's shop. Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the door.  
"Hajimemashite! How may I help you?" Mine-san greets me with a smile that widens as she recognizes me. "Tamae-san! How are you today?"  
"I am well. How's business?"  
"Wonderful, of course! Ayame's genius is becoming more and more known! He has created a wonderful new line that has our many customers begging for more! We can't keep them in stock!" She gushed on as I stood there, surveying the store more intently than I had on my previous visit. "Do you see anything you like?"  
I snapped my attention back to her. She was wearing a maid's outfit today. "To be honest, I didn't come here to shop. Ayame-san wanted me to show this to him." I waved the file containing the translation. She nodded and said, "Ayame's visiting his brother right now at Shigure-san's house but I'm sure he'll return soon. In the meantime, why don't I find something perfect for you!" She advanced on me like a tiger on its prey.  
By the time Ayame returned I had been turned, twisted, trussed and finally tortured into trying on at least ten outfits. _This is what Ayame creates?_ The gowns were filmy confections that I wouldn't be caught dead in even if it were my wedding night. Some had layers upon layers of chiffon that clung to me and others were so short and low-cut they left little to the imagination. They were all beautiful but I could hardly imagine myself actually buying them. The last dress was at least presentable. I think it was a cocktail dress but I wouldn't have known. I didn't wear dresses. The last dress is what Ayame found me in.  
"Mine-san! You have done it again! Tamae-san looks lovelier in that gown than I remember! My genius is without equal!"  
"Indeed, Ayame! Nothing can compare to a woman in one of your amazing designs!" Mine gushed, eyes sparkling almost maniacally. _These two feed each other's mania!_ Ayame swooped towards me, spinning me around and gently pulling, twisting and arranging the fit of the dress to his satisfaction. "Now all you need are some accessories and you will be almost as perfect as I am!" Mine dashed off and returned with a black velvet ribbon choker and a silver cuff bracelet. She put them both on me, and grinned even wider than before.  
"Wondrous, Mine! You have read my mind once more! No frills or ruffles for this girl, no, no! She is a serious student and must be seen as the worldly, sophisticated creature she is!" _Worldly? Sophisticated? Whatever they're on, I want some._

"A compliment! I have received a compliment from the great Ayame!"  
"Of course, Mine! Give credit where credit is due, I always say! Although most of the credit goes to me because it is my genius that has turned this drab little caterpillar into a stunning butterfly!" He and Mine both laughed with glee, Mine actually clapping her hands like an excited child.  
"You must take it with you, Tamae-san! I would be simply beside myself if you didn't!"  
"But—"  
"I simply won't hear of it! You would be insulting both Mine for finding the perfect look for you and myself for creating it if you didn't!" I looked wildly about the room, backing away from the pair. They marched towards me, intent on seeing me buy the garment. When I could back away no further and they continued to advance, I gave in.  
"All right! I'll take it. It is a wonderful dress—"  
"Did you hear that, Ayame? She LOVES it! She's never seen anything as splendid on her as that dress! You are a genius!"  
"Of COURSE she loves it! What woman doesn't love one of my gowns? They all practically BEG me to let them buy them! Tamae-san is no different than any other woman who discovers how beautiful she truly is by seeing herself in my designs!" He laughed delightedly as Mine ushered me back into the changing room and took the dress from me. Once I was back in what I'd come in wearing I emerged to find Ayame-san reclining gracefully against one of the white couches sitting near the dressing room, sipping a cup of tea. He was reading the translation I had brought for him. This time, as I watched him, his face did not change expression.  
"Where is Mine?" I asked him, half expecting her to pop out of the air vents, measuring tape in hand so she could hog-tie me and double-check my measurements.  
"I sent her out to get us some gyouza. She'll be back in a half hour." He continued reading. I sat down beside him, taking the teacup that had obviously been poured for me. Once he had finished, he looked at me. I didn't know what to make of his expression.  
"Have you found anything in the records yet?" I asked him. He shook his head.  
"Whoever kept those records was sloppy. I haven't found anything." He sipped his tea, seemingly at ease. I knew he wasn't. His hand was clasped a little too tightly about the cup.  
"Do the jyuunishi still exist?" He looked at me. "There are too many coincidences. Yoshiro's hair is exactly like Hatsuharu-san's. The way you all hold yourselves away from others. Even Isuzu-chan won't let herself get too close. And you have hair and eyes exactly like Minoru's. I wonder if you would turn into a snake if I hugged you." He leaned away from me exaggeratedly, face comically alarmed. I laughed in spite of the tension. "Don't worry, I won't. I just need a yes or a no."  
"And if I say no?"  
"I wouldn't believe you. If I had found that document in the library, I probably would have. But Isuzu-chan found it at the Honke. That alone lends it a credibility that neither of us can deny." He stared at nothing for a long while. My tea became cold. Finally he took a deep breath, letting it out in a whoosh.  
"Yes. The jyuunishi still exist. There are thirteen of us. Haruko- san described us rather well. Akito-sama will find out that you know eventually. You should stop this now."  
"You know I can't do that. I'm in too deep. I have to finish, not just for me, but for Isuzu-chan. She hurts so much and she can't share it with anyone. Not even me. I want to help her. I want this to be able to help her. I don't know what else to do." There's nothing else I can do for her but finish what I started. "The other secret that you kept for her. It was Hatsuharu-san, wasn't it? It was their relationship."  
"Shi-san was right. Tamae-san is very observant. I think she is too observant."  
"Either that or too stupid not to back down before a greater force." I answered wryly.  
"Perhaps you are both." I nodded.  
"I've never had a friend like Isuzu-chan. I've never felt like I had something worth protecting. Isuzu-chan is worth protecting." Even as she protects Hatsuharu-san.  
"Tamae-san is a good friend. But if Tamae-san is hurt, Rin-san will be hurt as well." His voice was very quiet. "I will keep this secret, Tamae-san. But Akito-sama will find out. I hope you realize then the consequences of what you're doing. One way or another, Rin-san will be hurt."  
"I'm hoping that before that happens she'll have someone else to help her through it. I think this is going to help me help her, just not in the way she thinks it will." I pulled the file against my chest. "I know how this story ends, Ayame-san. I just haven't written it down yet."

A/N: Once again, guess my favorite line! You don't have to tell me...but I'll let y'all know once I've actually gotten some guesses! (cheesy grin)


	11. Consequences

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.

A/N: Here's chapter 11! It's a shorter chapter than some of the others. I tend to divide up my chapters by the event rather than anything else. Rin and Tamae get into a fight (sort of)! Haven't gotten a ton of reviews but now I don't care; this is going up whether I do or not! If you have an opinion, please let me know if only so I can improve my writing!

Chapter 11: Consequences  
"I spoke with Ayame-san." I told Isuzu-chan as we studied in the library the next day.  
"And?"  
"He answered some...questions I had." I looked down at my paper.  
"What questions?" She tensed visibly.  
"About the jyuunishi. And the curse." I didn't look at her. I didn't want to know what my words were doing to her.  
"What did you ask him?" Her voice was calm. I looked up at her. She looked angrier than I had ever seen her. Angry and frightened.  
"Whether or not they still exist." I saw her hands fist on the table and she looked away from me.  
"Why did you ask him and not me?" It was the same question I had been asking myself since before I made the choice to ask him.  
"I don't know. Because I figured I could read him well enough to know if he lied. Because you get so upset whenever your family is mentioned." Because if everything goes the way I think it will, I don't want you to be hurt if Akito finds out that I know. I don't want you to carry the guilt of having told me.  
"How did you know to ask?"  
"There were too many coincidences in the translation. Another name's appeared, and it belongs to a man with hair very like Hatsuharu-san's. Ayame's coloring is exactly like Minoru's. Minoru's fear of Katsuo. Things like that."  
She stood abruptly, the chair shooting back behind her. It squawked across the floor, causing heads to turn in our direction. She leaned in towards me, her posture menacing. "It's bad for us both for you to know these things. Why did you have to be so damned curious?" She was yelling. I looked around us nervously. I had hoped that our location would have had a quieting effect on her reaction. I was very wrong.  
"Gomen, Isuzu-chan. You have so many secrets." I kept my voice low, barely above a whisper. "I..." _I have no excuse.  
_ "And that makes it okay for you to pry? I should never have come to you for help! Who do you think you are?" Even in anger, she was beautiful. It made her eyes snap with energy and her cheeks flushed.  
"I'm your friend Isuzu-chan."  
"Not any more, you're not! I want it back! Give me that damned scroll and all your notes and stay the hell away from me!" She rushed off. I didn't realize that I had started shaking until she was gone. I stared at my hands. My pen had fallen to the table and my fingers were knotted together. It took more concentration than I had thought possible to untwist them and bring my hands to my face before I started crying.  
  
_ I was sick today. It's winter again and I'm certain I've caught some illness, but I dare not tell anyone. I have been reassigned yet again, this time to the Main House. Occasionally I serve Katsuo-sama but it is rare that I see anyone other than the other servants. I have not seen Minoru-sama in four weeks. This does not surprise me; he is not a man who reacts well to change and it seemed that just as we became accustomed to our new arrangements my duties tore us apart again. I know that he is spending all of his time in his home, by the roaring fire in his study, drawing. His talent is amazing. I want to be there so badly it tears at my heart. But I am a servant; my happiness means nothing. My performance in my duties are all that matter to the true occupants of the inner court. I only hope this winter will pass quickly so that I might be reassigned._  
  
_I have seen my beloved Minoru-sama once more! I nearly ran into him as I carried the evening meal to Katsuo-sama. He was just leaving Katsuo- sama's quarters when I arrived. My heart leaped in my chest at the sight of him. He was well wrapped against the cold but his eyes could not be disguised from me. I have looked into those eyes for so long I see them in my dreams. I bowed as low as I could while holding the tray and I couldn't see his expression. He stood aside and allowed me to pass. As I walked by him I felt his hand touch my shoulder, telling me without words that he understood and he still saw me. I blinked away tears. When I emerged some time later, he was still there. "Ohayo, Haruko-chan. Daijobu?" "I am well, Sohma-sama." He was risking a great deal and I looked at him. Did he realize it? He nodded once, shortly. Then he caressed my face, his fingertips tracing the curve of my eyebrow, my cheek. "Haruko-chan has lost weight." "Hai, Sohma-san. I have been ill. It happens to many this time of year." I clutched the tray against my stomach, willing them to hold on to it more tightly lest I drop it in my desire to touch him. "How long have you been sick?" "Two weeks, Sohma-sama." His eyes widened and swept my body. "You are able to fulfill your duties?" "Hai, Sohma-sama. It is not a debilitating illness. I am simply unable to keep certain foods down." He nodded, once. His hand fell away from my face and he backed away from me slowly. "Haruko-chan should take care to avoid the foods that make her sick. If Haruko-chan were to stay sick, she might not be able to work and I might not be able to see her. That would make me very unhappy." "Hai, Sohma sama. Arigatou for thinking of me so kindly. I will do my best." As one, we turned away from each other and went our separate ways. Such a risk he took, speaking to me so familiarly!  
_  
_ I now know that I am not sick. I am pregnant. I will not be able to conceal it much longer. I have not seen Minoru-sama since that day and I am happier and yet more afraid than I have ever been. I am carrying the child of my beloved! I did not think that I could feel more love for him than I had, but now, when I touch my stomach I feel warmth that pales my previous feelings to mere infatuation. Our immortality lies within me, Minoru's and mine. I am no longer sick and I go about my work with a joy that I have never felt before. I have been serving Katsuo-sama more frequently lately and I am afraid of what he will do when he finds out. He knows everything about the family, even me. He knows my name, though I have never heard him use it. I do not know if he knows of our affair and this makes me afraid for Minoru and our child. What will happen? Minoru once said that I could be made to forget about him and our love. Would I be made to forget about our baby as well?_  
  
_Today was the first of the New Year. I watched as Minoru-sama and the other jyuunishi proceeded through the family in their beautiful costumes to the celebration in the inner court. Only a handful of servants were chosen to serve them; I was not one of them. I watched the procession in the crowd; normally I would have fought my way to the front of it so that I could get a glimpse of my beloved. Today I prayed that the bodies of the others would hide my changing body from his eyes. As I watched him pass I could see him glancing about, looking for me. When he saw me I touched my hand to my lips and turned it towards him. Aishiteru, I wanted to tell him. I love you. He gave the barest nod and gazed forward again. I looked towards the front of the procession, where Katsuo-sama was sitting. My heart beat hard in my chest when my eyes met his. His face was severe. I have never felt the terror that his gaze instilled in me. Now I truly fear for the worst. _


	12. Reality

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far! I'm glad you like my first attempt at fanfiction, lol! From here on out, it may get a little Mary sue- ish. I was really trying to avoid it but the more I think about it the more I suspect that in the end it really is...(shudders)  
  
And now for my newest reviewers!

Elriel: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it!

Serryn: Yes, Rin is the Horse. In the manga, she is also Hatsuharu's ex- girlfriend. After Akito learned of their relationship he pushed her out a 2nd story window and she broke up with him. Afterward she confronted Shigure, wanting to know what he knew about ending the curse and even going so far as to offer herself to him if he told her (she feels that she has nothing else). Shigure, of course, denied any knowledge. Since that time, she has devoted all her energy to avoiding Haru and trying to discover the cure for the curse on her own. Haru hasn't given up on her yet! Yay Haru! (waves HaruxRin banner) Since she doesn't show up until around vol. 11 of the manga (the anime only covers up to vol. 5/6) she isn't in the anime, which sucks 'cause I think she's one of the coolest characters! I'm glad you like the fic! I've tried to make Haruko & Minoru's story coincide with Rin & Tamae's. I'm glad you noticed!   
  
Chapter 12: Reality  
_Katsuo-sama called me to him today. Minoru-sama was with him, as were the other jyuunishi. I dared not look at any of them, especially my love. I was obviously pregnant now. Katsuo-sama's voice was gentle as he bade me kneel before him and in front of the others. "You are Sohma Haruko- san?" "Hai, Sohma-sama." I touched my forehead to the ground as I said this. It was difficult to do with my stomach in the way. "Do not do that again, Haruko-san. It is harmful to your child." "Hai, Sohma-sama." I looked down at my hands. Were they shaking? I prayed they were not. "You are a servant of the inner court?" "Hai, Sohma-sama." "And you are with child." It was not a question. "You are also unwed. How do you explain this?" I said nothing, still looking at my hands. I could not lie. I would never tell the truth. So I said nothing. "You will answer me, Haruko-san." "I...do not know, Sohma-sama." "You do not know?" I couldn't look up at him. "I think I know," he continued. "I think you have seduced one of my jyuunishi." What could I say? I could not deny it. My silence was as damning as my voice would have been if I lied. "Which one have you stolen from me, Haruko-san?" His voice was still quiet, still gentle. It terrified me. He rose and knelt before me. His hands wiped tears from my cheeks. When had I begun to cry? "Tell me, Haruko-san. Tell me which of my own has fathered your child." I shook my head, my shoulders shaking with the effort to silence my sobs. "Are you cold, Haruko-san?" I shook my head again. I was not cold. I was more afraid than I had ever been. His hands caressed my hair, moved down to my shoulders. They gripped my arms in a bruising grasp and I cried out in pain. "You set your sights high, Haruko-san. Is it not forbidden for anyone to have contact with the jyuunishi save those I approve of? I do not recall approving of you. How did you manage it? You have a lovely face and a young body, but so do other servants. Tell me how you accomplished this and I will not punish you." I was crying openly now. "Onegai, Sohma-sama..." He only squeezed his hands about my arms harder. "Tell me, Haruko-san." I could not. I did not know what he wanted me to say. Finally he released my arms only to send one hand smashing across my face, throwing me to the floor. I tasted blood. "Liar! Whore! I will know even if I have to beat your child from you to make you talk!" I heard several gasps behind me, and one small, broken-off cry. He grabbed my hair close to my scalp and raised my head to slap me again. This time I saw red staining the mats on the floor and I realized that it was my blood. My vision grew hazy as he continued to slap my face. Then he pulled me higher and, though I tried to protect myself with my hands, punched my stomach several times. Finally, he released me and I fell on my side, my body curling in on itself. "Do you see?" He was addressing the others. "Do you see what happens when you love? This is the fault of whoever succumbed to her charms. Your weakness is what makes me do this. Who will admit to this girl?" He waited. Deep in my heart, a voice cried out for my love to speak, but my mind knew he would not. After loving him for so long, I knew his deepest fear was this man. Not even I could make him stand. My breath hurt in my chest; each one caused pain to shoot through my stomach. I knew that Katsuo-sama had not lied about his threat. My baby, our baby was gone. Finally, Katsuo-sama knelt down beside me. "Do you know what will happen to you?" he whispered in my ear as pain wracked me. "Your memory will be erased. You will not remember that you loved, or that you were pregnant. I will marry you off to whomever I please, send you far away from here so that I will never have to see your disgusting face again. Minoru will not stop me. Indeed, Minoru cannot stop me." I cried out as he pressed against my hurting belly. "You will never see him again. You will never remember his face. A fitting punishment for a whore, wouldn't you say?" He stood and gave the order. In a haze of pain I thought I heard my love cry out and Yoshiro-sama's voice silencing him. Hands helped me to my feet and supported me as we left the room._   
  
It was finished. I had yet to return the scroll and my notes to Isuzu-chan; she had yet to come to me and demand them. I think she was waiting for me to finish. I saw her occasionally in the halls, but I didn't approach her. I wanted to; Kami knows I wanted to. I had hurt her, going behind her back like I had. She doesn't forgive betrayal easily. Finally, I called her cell phone.  
"What do you want?" No cheery greeting for me.  
"I wanted to tell you that it's finished. It's not a happy ending." She snorted.  
"This is the jyuunishi we're talking about. It wouldn't be."  
"Isuzu-chan, I want to give these back to you. I'm done with it." I was walking along some street. "You can have my notes, everything. I'm more sorry than you will ever know for betraying you like I did. Please don't hate me." _You'll know my reasons soon enough_.  
"I don't hate you. I just don't care anymore. Keep the damned things. I don't want to see you again." My heart sank and I stopped on the sidewalk. I wanted to break down right there on the street and start bawling.  
"Isuzu-chan—"  
"I don't want to hear it!" Her voice was shaking. Was she crying?  
"I couldn't tell you before. My reasons. I'm sorry. I asked Ayame- san because I didn't want to ask you. I couldn't put you in that position. What happened to Haruko...it's like that for you, too, isn't it? You have to keep this secret from everyone or Akito will wipe their memories if they find out, right? I couldn't let you carry that burden if it happens to me." Silence. I checked my phone to see if she'd hung up; she hadn't. "I don't want Isuzu-chan to suffer like Minoru did. I love Isuzu-chan...I don't want her hurt." _Onegai, Isuzu-chan. Don't shut me out of your life._  
More silence. Finally, "What happened?" she asked. "To Haruko and Minoru."  
"She got pregnant. Katsuo beat her until she lost the child in front of the jyuunishi trying to make her tell him who the father was. She didn't. Minoru...wouldn't protect her." I paused. "Katsuo already knew. He was using her to punish him. I think...I think that's why she wouldn't tell him. She couldn't lie, and she wouldn't tell him so he beat her. She knew that Minoru wouldn't help her. If he tried, the other jyuunishi would probably have tried to stop him, I think. Better a servant be hurt than one of their own, ne?" I found myself near a park and sat down with a sigh.  
"Where are you?"  
"At some park. I don't really know." I know the reality now. "Isuzu-chan, I...I want us to stay friends. I don't want it to end like this." I started crying. "I love Isuzu-chan. F-forgive m-me, o-o- onegai." I couldn't stop crying.  
"There's nothing more?"  
"I-ie. That's all there is. T-the entries stopped after the b- beating."  
More silence. Then she sighed. I heard strange, quiet gasping sounds for a while and then she said, "I don't want it to end like this, either. We'll talk again." She hung up. I sat there until sundown, rocking back and forth with my hands over my face, trying vainly to conceal my sobs.


	13. Warnings in Nightmares

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
A/N: Kind of a spacer of a chapter, but it's necessary for what's to come.   
  
Chapter 13: Warnings in Nightmares  
We did talk again. It was strained for a while; I realized that more than my breaking her trust she was now deeply afraid of losing me. I was afraid of losing her, too, but I think that for her it was much deeper. Every time I saw her I vowed to stand as long as I could with her. But the same feeling I had when I spoke with Ayame-san lurked in my heart: I knew that eventually Akito would find out that I knew and that our friendship would be erased from my memory. Another term ended; I moved out of my dorm and into a tiny apartment nearby. Isuzu-chan visited me frequently. Sometimes she even stayed the night and I would hear her moan softly in her sleep, lost in nightmares. After a particularly bad one she sat bolt upright, eyes wide in pain and terror.  
"Isuzu-chan? Daijobu?" She shook her head.  
"Ie, Tamae-chan." Her hand went to the scar on her shoulder.  
"How did that happen?" I asked her, gesturing towards the healed injury.  
"In a fall. After Akito found out about Hatsuharu and me, he pushed me out a window. I was in the hospital for two weeks." She still paused slightly over Hatsuharu-san's name, as though savoring it. She hadn't mentioned him in a long time.  
"Why did he push you?"  
"Hatsuharu is a favorite. I'm not. Akito...doesn't like women very much." She looked sad. "Of all the female jyuunishi, he likes me least of all. I took Hatsuharu away from him."  
"You broke up with Hatsuharu-san right after that, didn't you?" She nodded.  
"He never found out the real reason I was injured. If he had, I know he would have gone black and done something he would have regretted. We can't go against our God." The bitterness in her voice tore at me. "I told myself that I would protect Hatsuharu more by not being with him than I could if we were together. I've been trying to find a cure for the curse since then. I even asked Shigure," she shuddered at the memory, "but he told me he couldn't help me. Wouldn't help me, is more like it. Shigure has his own agenda. I don't know what he wants, but I know he'll stop at nothing to get it. He's hurt several of us to get there." She paused. "I think...I think he's the most loyal to Akito of all of us. The rest of us love him as much as we hate him, but Shigure...I think he loves him most of all."  
"You all love Akito? Despite what he's done?" She'd told me a few details over the last year and I felt sick at what they had had to endure.  
  
"We must. Otherwise why would we put up with it? Blood bond be damned, none of us have even tried standing up to him." _Not even I could make him stand._ Haruko's words rang through my mind. I hugged Isuzu-chan close.  
"Maybe..." I trailed off. "Maybe no one ever felt they were strong enough to."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well," I tried collecting my thoughts. I wasn't even sure what I meant. "Akito has spent so much energy making you all feel like you owe him. Like you belong to him. Like you have no worth except what he gives you. After a lifetime of that, how could you feel like you could stand against him? I don't know what all of you feel, or what you've all experienced, but I know that Isuzu-chan discovered a horrible truth behind a beautiful lie and that Akito used that to keep her from being happy. He's still using it. And it's still working. If he keeps feeding you poison, how can you hope to find the strength to stop taking it?" She looked at me as though I'd gone nuts.  
"Sometimes, Tamae-chan, I don't know what to think of the things that come out of your mouth."  
"Say that the next time I get drunk." I joked. We both knew I never drank. She laughed all the same and snuggled closer to me.  
"Arigatou, Tamae-chan." I nodded. _Kami, please let me be able to stand for her. For as long as I can. I can't stop him from poisoning her, but maybe I can try to keep her from taking too much._


	14. Taking Risks

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.

A/N: Getting into the final stretches, at last! And here's Shigure as antagonist/catalyst. He might be a little OOC. Personally, I don't think so but the style is a little obvious for what I know of him from the manga...I have to admit I was rather proud of myself for the dialogue in this chapter. Let me know what you think! Please R&R!

Chapter 14: Taking Risks  
"Still at the library? Tamae-san, you never change." Sohma-san's voice pulled me out of yet another research trance. He was sitting across from me, head resting on one of his hands. I hadn't even heard him sit down.  
"Ohaiyo, Sohma-san. Daijobu?" I set my book down.  
"You're wearing glasses. You have trouble seeing now?" I nodded.  
"They're for reading. I'm afraid that I've spent too much time studying with only a single lamp to help me." _And I've been squinting at tiny Chinese characters for the last two years._ He smiled at me.  
"They look good on you. Now you look like a librarian. Very scholarly. It's cute."  
"Arigatou...I think. Should a girl as young as I am look scholarly?"  
"What's this I hear? Is that _vanity_? Tamae-san, you shock me!" He was teasing me.  
"Do I? That's a first. I get the feeling it doesn't happen very often with you." He nodded.  
"I do pride myself on knowing people. It helps me in my writing career, you understand."  
"I'm sure it would. By the way, I never asked you what kind of novels you write."  
"Oh, several kinds. A little highbrow fiction, a little lowbrow, it all depends on where the Muse takes me." I nodded. Isuzu-chan had told me that his favorites were the smutty romances under his pseudonym. She never told me what that was, though.  
"What brings you here, Sohma-san? It's been a while since we last spoke." It had been a year, but he could still cause my stomach to flip- flop. I sighed, disgusted with myself.  
"Have you missed my company so much, Tamae-san? If I had known, I would have made more effort to see you!" I blushed. "I must say I enjoyed our last encounter greatly." He leaned in towards me. "Although I must admit to being a tad jealous when my dear Aya-san mentioned that he had met you in passing. He said you were delightful!"  
"Do you mean Ayame-san?" Isuzu-chan and I had never heard from him regarding the birth records. Now, knowing that the translation couldn't help her she had given up on it. She hadn't even asked for the scroll back.  
"Yes, my darling Aya! He said you looked fetching in the dress you had bought from his store. I wonder what it looked like?"  
"It's red." He grinned and closed his eyes, as though trying to picture me in a red dress.  
"Red would be a lovely color on you, my dear! It suits you."  
"How so?"  
"It's such a romantic color, ne? It's the color of passion, after all. And you, I think, have a very passionate soul."  
"But passion can be very dangerous. It can turn to obsession without anyone realizing it."  
"And are you obsessing about something? A boy, perhaps? Oh, no, Tamae-san doesn't bother with young men. She's far too busy with her studies." I glared at him. "So you DO have a boyfriend? Then I'm too late?" I gasped in spite of myself.  
"You are outrageous!" I fought off the blush that deepened what had already been there. "How can you..._flirt_ like that?"  
"You didn't answer my question."  
"No. And Yes."  
"To both, or one after the other?" He was enjoying this. I balled my hands into fists, my nails cutting into my palms.  
"Whatever you like. I don't care." He looked comically wounded.  
"You've hurt me to the quick! Such an uncaring, unfeeling girl! To stampede over a man's feelings this way!" He looked at me to see if it was working. To my horror, it was. Why couldn't I control myself around this man?  
"I think you make overmuch of your feelings." _And mine_.  
"Do you? You may be right. But we'll never know unless we try, ne?" He leaned in and I shot up so quickly my chair screeched behind me. I crossed my arms over my stomach and glared at him.  
"You really enjoy doing this, don't you?" I hissed. "What do you want from me?" My nails sank deeper into my palms and I winced.  
"So suspicious, Tamae-san!"  
"I haven't seen you in a year! Don't expect me to think that you just dropped in out of the blue to see how I was doing!"  
"Ma ma! But that's exactly why I am here! I'm relieved to see your spirit is undamaged from a year of dreary schoolwork! Come, let me take you out of this horrible, quiet library for the day! Your skin is too pale; you need some time in the sun!"  
"It's overcast."  
"But the sun is still there! Besides, the clouds might break up. The weather report said it might be sunny."  
"Actually, it said there was a 40% chance of showers." I made up quickly. He shook his finger at me.  
"You're lying. I check it every day. Are you really so suspicious of my motives? What have I ever done to give you that idea?" I was stuck. By the look in his eyes, he knew it. We were playing cat and mouse; I couldn't evade him without revealing I knew something that might lead him to think I knew something else. I sighed.  
"Nothing. Isuzu-chan has warned me about you, nothing more."  
"Warned you? About what?"  
"That you're a pervert." He laughed loudly at this.  
"Do you believe her?"  
"Yes. She's usually right about things like that. It's like a sixth- sense."  
"Hmmm...I would think she'd let you make decisions for yourself. Do you think I'm a pervert?" I shrugged.  
"I don't know. You did seem oddly interested in my left cheek both times we spoke." I was back on familiar ground.  
"Ah, that. It looked so soft. I simply wanted to see if it was."  
"Liar." I glared at him and he slumped in mock-defeat.  
"Hai, you're right. I wanted to see if you'd let me. You did. What does that say about you, Tamae-san?"  
"That I'm a sucker for the attention of older men." I shot back sarcastically. I gathered up my belongings. "Fine, I'll go with you."  
"Really? I thought it would be much more difficult than this to talk you into it." His voice dripped with honey.  
"I doubt you'll leave me alone until I do. Since I can't get any work done with you annoying me, I might as well fold. Shall we go? I have to stop at my apartment first. I hope you don't mind."  
"Not at all. I wouldn't mind knowing where Tamae-san lives." I scowled at him.  
  
We walked a long time. I wasn't sure where we were going, but we sparred the entire way. I knew why I was being so standoffish, but I still shocked myself by my bitchiness. The things he said...irritated me. Yes, I was attracted to him. He knew it. I didn't trust him. He knew this, too. He went out of his way to shock me with his innuendos. It worked. This irritated me further.  
We headed into a forest. I got the feeling he knew where we were going, so I simply followed him and tried to remember the route we'd taken so I could get back home. Finally, we stopped at a small, level plot of land. It had been cultivated into rows of plants.  
"A garden?" I was dumbfounded.  
"Hai. This was Yuki's secret base. Not terribly secret, mind you, but it brought him a measure of relief when he lived with me."  
"Oh. Who is Yuki?"  
"Another cousin of Rin-san's and mine. He lives at the main house now."  
"Do you keep it up?" His hands didn't look like a gardener's.  
"Ie. Tohru-chan comes here often to tend it. She gives me some of the vegetables and takes the rest for herself."  
"Tohru-chan?"  
"She lived with Yuki, Kyo and me while she attended high school. She was a little flower among us thorny men." He winked at me. I sighed, tired of his double entendres.  
"Why did you bring me here?" He turned to face me and stepped so close we were almost touching. I stepped back. I didn't want to know what he would change into. Or so I told myself.  
"She was an interesting girl. She never thought of herself. She always put our needs before her own. She put everyone's needs before her own, actually. She was very strong and very foolish that way. I wonder if you are strong or foolish?"  
"What are you talking about?" I demanded desperately. He was backing me up towards the trees that edged the clearing. "I don't know what you want from me!"  
"I want to hold you." There was steel under that teasing tone. I knew he wanted me to sense it.  
"Get away from me!" I backed into a tree. He leaned towards me, arms extended as though to hug me, and I ducked under one of them and darted away. He didn't follow. He just gave me a satisfied smile and leaned against the tree I had fled from. I gaped at him.  
"What the hell was that about?" I knew, without asking, that I had told him what he wanted. _Backpedal, girl, backpedal!  
_ "You know. How long have you known?"  
"Know what? I don't know what you're talking about!" He made a moue of disappointment.  
"Wrong answer. Try again."  
"What was the question?"  
"How. Long. Have. You. Known?"  
"Known what? That you're a pervert who just tried to assault me?" He laughed.  
"Would it have been assault if you hadn't been so on guard against me, Tamae-san?" _He's ruthless. He'll do whatever he can to get what he wants._  
"I don't understand!"  
"I think you do. Or would you like me to show you?" He advanced on me again. This time I held my ground. Would he stop before he transformed? I closed my eyes, waiting for a poof and a cloud of smoke like Haruko had described. None came. I opened my eyes to find his not an inch away.  
"Would you like to know what spirit I'm possessed by?"  
"Lust?" I retorted shakily.  
"Did Rin-san tell you? Of course she did. How else could you know? Of course, Akito will have to be told. We simply can't let things like this run rampant. Tohru-chan was the exception after all, not the rule. And Akito will be angry. He might even put Rin-san in the hospital again." I closed my eyes in defeat and nodded.  
"Hai, I know."  
"How long?"  
"A year."  
"How did you find out?" I shook my head. He would know if I lied, and I couldn't tell him the truth without betraying my best friend.  
"Isn't it enough that I know?" _I've betrayed Isuzu-chan enough as it is._  
"For now, I suppose that it is. You and I have much to discuss. Come with me." He moved away from me and I followed numbly. I had nowhere to hide. I had shown him where I lived; I couldn't find another apartment in the middle of the term quickly. He knew my habits. He knew how to find me if I tried anything. He led me to a large house about ten minutes from the garden. After removing our shoes, he bade me sit and went to the kitchen to make tea. When he returned he found me with my head buried in my arms, crying.  
"Come now, Tamae-san, it's not as bad as all that. Have some tea. Now we negotiate the terms of my silence." I stared at him.  
"She didn't tell me."  
"Of course she didn't."  
"I don't want her hurt."  
"And she won't be if you do this right." I looked into my cup. Then I sniffled. _Ugh!_ He looked at me for a few minutes.  
"Does anyone else know that you know our secret?" I nodded.  
"Ayame-san."  
"Why Ayame-san?" He was genuinely curious.  
"I had my suspicions. I didn't want to ask Isuzu-chan in case something like this happened. I didn't want her blamed for telling me. I would have known if she lied. So I confronted Ayame-san and he confirmed it. He warned me to stop while I still could."  
"Stop what?"  
"Digging."  
"And?"  
"I told him I was in too deep as it was. Since I knew, it didn't matter how much I knew. The danger was in me knowing to begin with, wasn't it?"  
"It is." I registered the tense with a nod. My hands were wrapped around my cup, and I took strength from its warmth.  
"I figured Ayame is like you. He has a serious side too, and he hides it with his obnoxious behavior. I cracked the shield and made him take me seriously."  
"Do you think you can do the same with me?" He was smirking. He knew I couldn't. I might be good, but he was a master.  
"Ie. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to hide this from you and gave it away anyway. I couldn't keep it a secret forever."  
"I take it Isuzu-chan knows? That must have been difficult for the two of you."  
"It was. It still is, sometimes. She is very afraid for me. She tries to hide it, but I know she is. Sometimes I don't hear from her for weeks at a time and I know she's debating whether it's worth being my friend if it's discovered that I know."  
"I'm curious. How did you find out?"  
"Is this the price of your silence?" He looked at me over his cup.  
"That depends." I shook my head. Time to deal.  
"I'll tell you, but I want your word that Isuzu-chan won't be harmed. Her not being hurt requires your silence. It's the only way you'll satisfy that curiosity of yours." He cocked his head, considering.  
"It must be a good story."  
"That's for you to decide. I want your word."  
"I'm sure Rin-san has told you my word means little." I nodded.  
"She said you're ruthless when you want something. That you'll do whatever it takes to get it and not care who you hurt. She said you've already hurt several of the jyuunishi."  
"And what do you think?"  
"I think she's right. But this is a risk I'm going to have to take, isn't it? Otherwise you'll go running to Akito-sama and I won't have any cards to play at all, will I?"  
"I suppose not. You have my word. I will not tell anyone what you've told me today. Nor will I tell anyone what you're going to tell me. For now." I nodded. It was all I was going to get from him. _Kami help me. I've just made a deal with the devil._  
  
I told him everything. How I'd met Isuzu-chan, the scroll, the small characters I'd found hidden within the kanji. I told him about Haruko and Minoru and Yoshiro and how I'd managed to put it all together. I told him about what happened to the lovers. I told him about what had happened between Isuzu-chan and myself when I told her I'd confronted Ayame. Finally, I told him about how I had struggled to keep her as my friend when her every instinct was still screaming to push me away. The tea got cold and we both got hungry. He ordered takeout. I talked between bites and long into the night. It felt good to tell someone everything; it also terrified me. I was telling the one person that could ruin it all.  
When I was done, I looked at my hands.  
"I get the feeling you're not done yet." I looked at him.  
"What do you mean?"  
"You know quite a bit about us. You know even more about Rin-san. You're planning something, Tamae-san." I shrugged.  
"Maybe I am. As the poem goes, 'Nothing gold can stay.' I know that eventually Akito-sama will find out; when that happens, inevitably my memory will be erased. I knew that the moment I discovered the curse. The threat was real the moment I agreed to help Isuzu-chan decipher the scroll."  
"What is it you want out of this?" He actually looked interested.  
"What do I want? I want Isuzu-chan to be happy. I want her to be able to stand where Minoru was not. I don't know if that's possible, but I'm doing everything I can think of to make her realize that she might be able to if—"  
"If...what?" I shook my head.  
"I'm not sure myself. I'm going to have to take another gamble to find out for sure. I've already taken two. I don't know how much longer things will go well for me. Eventually, I'll lose."  
"I think you know. Tell me. Sometimes the words we need are right there when we need them most. Tohru-chan seemed to have that ability; I think you have a small talent at it yourself." I looked at him again. I felt silly.  
"I think...that if Isuzu-chan could find faith in something greater than she is then maybe she'd have a chance. She gave it up before; I don't know if I can, but I want to help her find it again."  
"You're talking about love."  
"Maybe. Maybe I'm talking about religion. Silly, isn't it?"  
"Ie, not at all. But it's difficult for any of the jyuunishi to find strength in love. There are too many risks involved. We tend to avoid risks."  
"I noticed. But Isuzu-chan took a risk with me; I'm taking a risk with you. In a way you have power over both of us now."  
"You do realize that if I exercised that power, Rin-san would be hurt."  
"Ayame said that, too."  
"What did you tell him?"  
"I said that I hoped when that happened someone else would be there to help her."  
"Help her?" I nodded. His eyes lit up and he laughed.  
"Tamae-san is such a romantic! She has inspired me to write about the true meaning of friendship!" He clapped his hands like an excited child. "What do you think?"  
I snorted, too weary from the emotional day to muster up any kind of defense. "I think Sohma-san is full of bullshit."


	15. Options

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.

A/N: Don't hate me Hatori-lovers! As much as I love Hatori, having something like this sprung on him would probably rattle him and cause him to act other than he normally does! Once again, he might be considered a little OOC. I don't think so. 8P I think Hatori has an outwardly harsh manner and I've simply taken it to the next level. So there! Not sure about the dialogue in this one (this story's a bit dialogue-heavy, isn't it?) but I still like it. Hopefully you do too! Please R&R!

Chapter 15: Options  
In the end, I did tell Isuzu-chan that Sohma-san had spoken with me. I only gave her the bare bones of that day, telling her that he had confronted me and I had admitted to knowing about the curse. I had agreed to give him a copy of the translation as the price of his silence. She seemed resigned to the fact that it was no longer our secret alone. I think she was tired of secrets, too. For the next few months our relationship became that of what I imagine 'normal' friends would be like. We moaned about classes and sensei's, gorged ourselves on ice cream and watched terrible romances on weekends, went shopping downtown. When winter arrived again we went to the ice rink and chased each other about on the girls-only skates, squealing with glee.  
I treasured that time. I hadn't realized how much I did not know about Isuzu-chan until we both had accepted that some things were out of our control and she was able to relax. I was so used to her brusqueness that it never occurred to me that she would also have a side that laughed easily and loudly, gossiped girlishly, and, while she didn't gush like a high-school girl, she was quick to compliment and her praise was sincere. For a while we were able to ignore the feelings of disquiet and fear. We were able to truly be friends like everyone else.  
As I was cleaning up my apartment (some habits did change after all; I had become a neatfreak once I got my own place) I found the box containing the scroll. It had been a long time since I'd read the thing. I debated what to do with it. I could give it to Isuzu-chan, but I had the feeling that she didn't want to see it again now that she knew it couldn't help her. I could keep it, but if my memories were erased (_when_ my memories were erased) and it wasn't taken away I would find it again and become involved with the Sohma curse all over again. _Would that be so bad? I would be able to know them all over again. I do not want to forget Isuzu-chan, Ayame-san and Sohma-san._ I put the box on the table, debating. Finally I went back to cleaning.  
Two days later the box was still on my table. I sat staring at it for a while, then got up, gathered my notes and translations. I went to the library and made copies of everything. I placed the original next to the box; the copies I placed in a file folder and tucked into my bag. I took the box and the papers and set out for Sohma-san's house.  
I was surprised that I remembered the way there. It took a while for me to walk and the box was heavy. It seemed to become heavier with each step; I told myself I was simply tired of carrying it. _Carrying what?_ The burden of this document had weighed Isuzu-chan and me down for too long. It would be good for us both to be rid of it. One less thing for us to worry about.  
A young woman opened the door at my knock. Her eyes widened as she took in my packages.  
"Ah, ohayo. My name is Mikage Tamae. Is Sohma-san here?" She smiled, a wide smile that seemed to light her face.  
"Hai! I am Honda Tohru. Shigure-san is with Ayame-san and Hatori- san right now, please come in! You look cold; have you been out in this weather long?" It had begun snowing on my walk.  
"Not really. I came to give him something. He's told me a little about you. Didn't you live here for a while?" She nodded as I removed my shoes.  
"I'll help you with those. Oh my, this box is heavy! And it's so cute! It looks just like a row of books on a shelf! Did you make it?"  
"Hai. I thought he might like it." _He'll probably like what's inside even more.  
_ I followed her into the house, and waited as she told Sohma-san of my arrival. He thanked her and I heard Ayame-san's excited response.  
"Tamae-san is here? Shi-san, you dog! Why didn't you tell us you've been seeing her! I'm heartbroken! To think that my own dear Shi-san would look to another behind my back! I know I haven't been visiting as much as I should, but REALLY!" His voice came closer and a whirlwind of silver hair and heavy silk pounced on me. "Tamae-san, it's been too long! You look wonderful! Is it the cold that brings that lovely glow to your cheeks or is it my dear cousin? It's Shi-san, isn't it?" He whispered as he leaned closer. I blushed and looked down at my feet.  
"Ohayo, Ayame-san. I came to bring something to Sohma-san." He grinned wide and grabbed me by the hand, dragging me into the room.  
"Shi-san, Tamae-san is glowing with anticipation of seeing you! She told me so herself! Just look at her! A young woman in love!" He gushed on and on as I knelt at the table turning redder by the minute. Sohma-san was sitting across from me and adjacent to him was an older man with dark hair cut so that it hung over his left eye. That must be Hatori-san. I bowed my head in greeting.  
"Ohayo," I directed my comment at Hatori-san. "My name is Mikage Tamae." Ayame-san threw himself down across from Hatori-san.

"Of course, Tamae-san has yet to meet the third member of the Mabudachi trio!" _Mabudachi trio? What have I gotten myself into?_

"Tohru-chan, would you be a dear princess and bring us some more tea? Tamae-san's hands are like ice!" As if on cue Tohru-san appeared with a tray. She set fresh cups and a pot of tea before us and went back into what I assumed was the kitchen. All the while, Ayame-san filled the room with his chatter.

"Aya." Hatori-san admonished with a voice that showed very little emotion. "I don't believe you are helping to make Tamae-san comfortable. And you're giving me a headache." To my surprise, Aya immediately quieted, winking at me and taking a sip of his tea. Sohma-san had watched the whole exchange with amusement.

"What brings you here in such bad weather Tamae-san?" I looked nervously at Hatori-san; his face showed even less expression than his voice.

"I came to bring you something. That project I've been working on is now complete. I wanted to give you a copy and thank you for all of your help." He nodded, smiled and winked at Ayame-san. Hatori-san did not miss the exchange.

"Shigure, since when have you taken an interest in the studies of wayward college girls?" Sohma-san waved a hand at the disapproval in his tone.

"Ma ma Ha-san! This is Rin-san's best friend! We have known each other for quite a while, haven't we?" I nodded. "She has no interest in men right now!" Hatori gave him a look before turning his cold gaze my way.

"You are Isuzu's friend? Hatsuharu told me about you. A long time ago."

"Hai. Isuzu-chan and I have been friends for two years. I met Hatsuharu- san when we were shopping. He seemed...nice." Sohma-san laughed uproariously at that.

"You obviously haven't seen Haru's temper!" Hatori-san glared at him.

"What is this project that Shigure has taken such an interest in?" I glanced at Sohma-san and Ayame-san. Sohma-san was looking at me expectantly and Ayame-san gave me a wink. _They trust him._ Did that mean I could trust him as well? I took a sip of tea to cover my nervousness.

"I've been studying to be an archivist. I came across something involving the Sohma family and have been working on translating it. I'm finished with it so I came to give it to Sohma-san." He raised an eyebrow at my explanation and looked at the other two.

"I take it Aya knows about this project as well? He doesn't seem particularly surprised at this." _Either he doesn't miss much or he knows these two too well._ I was betting on both.

"Hai. Ayame-san knows about the translation." I looked down at my cup.

"What's the translation about?" My head shot up and I stared into Hatori- san's eyes—or eye, since one was covered by that fall of hair. It was a greenish color.

"You can tell him, Tamae-san." Sohma-san's assurance cut through my nervousness. "He was bound to find out eventually. He's Rin-san's doctor. And he's one of the jyuunishi." Then he sighed.

"Ha-san, you really should be more considerate of a young woman's feelings. Tamae-san is the reason Rin's doing so well lately. If you upset Tamae-san, what will it do to Rin?" Hatori-san simply gave Sohma-san another look at his chiding.

"Then I take it she knows about the curse?" I bristled.

"Hai," I replied with some force. "_She_ does." Hatori-san had the grace to look surprised by my outburst. "I found out when I was doing the translation. There were too many coincidences in it to be taken lightly and I made Ayame-san tell me the truth. He couldn't lie to me with what I knew staring him in the face. Sohma-san confronted me a few months ago about it and I told him."

"Coincidences." He wanted details. I excused myself from the table and retrieved the papers. I handed them to him as I sat down.

"It's all in there. I didn't figure it out until I realized that Sohma Yoshiro and Hatsuharu-san have the same hair colors. Ayame is similar to Sohma Minoru, but it's amazing what can be done with colored contacts and hair salons these days. The odds of two Sohmas looking nearly identical to the two in the translation was too much of a coincidence for me." He raised a hand to stop my chatter, reading. He must have taken a speed reading course at some time because he was finished in a matter of minutes. As he set down the papers his face was set in an even colder expression. He looked at the two men.

"This is not good." He sounded weary. "Do you even realize what you've gotten yourself into?" I flushed and stared at the table.

"Hatori!" Ayame-san sounded aggrieved. "Shi-san and I have asked her the same question!"

"Hai, we have." Sohma-san interrupted. "Tamae-san is not a stupid girl. She asked Aya so that Rin wouldn't have to tell Akito she had learned the truth from her."

"Very considerate of her. That doesn't mean she's not stupid. A smart girl would have never asked the question to begin with." He shot back harshly. I balled my hands into fists beneath the table. "A smart girl would have focused on her studies and not devoted any energy to this...fairy tale." I dug my nails into my palms and bit my lip hard to stop myself from speaking. No such luck.

"It must be nice." I interrupted Hatori-san. "The three of you are obviously very good friends. And you're all cursed, so you're not alone. You know everything there is to know about each other, don't you? But Isuzu-chan and I can't ever be that close because she's one of you and I'm...not. I'm just an ordinary human. No mystical cloud hangs over my head. Perhaps you're right; maybe Isuzu-chan and I shouldn't be as close as we are. Maybe it would have been better if we had never been friends." I looked at him. I was angry. I was angrier than I could ever remember being.

"How dare you? How dare you sit there and call me stupid? Is it stupid to want to know your best friend? I wanted to know her hopes and her fears. She's afraid all the time—did you know that? Just being friends with me makes her afraid. And because she's afraid, I'm scared too. I don't want to forget her. She's my best friend! I could run, but that wouldn't make it disappear. It would simply be farther away. If I ran, Isuzu-chan would still be hurt."

"She'll be hurt no matter what you do." I nodded. My palms hurt where my nails had sunk into my skin, but I didn't loosen them. I needed the pain to focus my incoherent thoughts.

"I know that. So what can I do? I can love Isuzu-chan and be her friend. No matter what happens, that's what I'm going to do. Whether or not I'm allowed to live with this is out of my hands, isn't it?" I glared at him. "Don't you ever call me stupid. I've thought a long time about this. I'm not going to simply disappear because of some curse without leaving something behind."

"You sound like it's inevitable that you'll be made to forget." He sounded thoughtful. Ayame-san was looking into his teacup and Sohma-san had that irritating grin on his face as he looked from me to Hatori-san.

"Isuzu-chan has told me that she is far from popular with Akito-sama. He wouldn't care if she had a friend like me; he would care if I knew of the curse. He'd have my memories erased to keep her under his heel. Just like he hurt her once he found out about her relationship with Hatsuharu-san. He wanted to put her in her place." A look of --guilt?--flashed across his face as he considered my words. Then he looked at me and saw me for the first time. I wasn't just an idiotic girl anymore. I realized how Haruko felt when she had written those words in her journal. Did all the jyuunishi try not to see the people around them for fear of being hurt?

"Tamae-san." I was pulled out of my reverie by the concern in his voice. "You're bleeding." I looked down and realized my nails were still stabbing into my palms. A small bloodstain had appeared on my lap. I flushed crimson in embarrassment.

"Tohru-chan, would you get the first aid kit?" Sohma-san called out. He sounded very satisfied with the outcome of the last few minutes. Tohru-san rushed in and cried out in concern when she saw my bleeding hands.

"Mikage-san! You're bleeding! I'll have to disinfect this carefully!" She fretted over my hands for several minutes, applying disinfectant and antibiotic ointment before she finally bandaged the cuts. "There! Mikage- san must have been very upset to do this without realizing it! But it's all taken care of. I'll just go put this back and continue with dinner!" She bustled out again with a cheerful smile. I stared at her disappearing back in wonder.

"Yes, my little flower is such a good wife!" _Wife?_ I looked at him with wide eyes and realized he was joking. Hatori-san made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl and Ayame-san immediately took the cue to tease Sohma-san about someday stealing his 'wife' away from him.  
  
They left a few hours later. Tohru-san had bade me to stay for supper and I did. She was an excellent cook. She told me that she was in a culinary school and wanted to possibly own a restaurant someday. My interest in the subject seemed to embarrass her, but I knew she was also flattered to be able to discuss her hopes for the future without any teasing from Ayame-san and Sohma-san, who were (for them) strangely self-contained. After the wonderful meal (I hadn't eaten that well since before attending university) Hatori-san and Ayame-san left, Hatori-san with a nod in my direction and Ayame-san extracting a promise from me to visit him at his shop soon. He had the most _delicious_ fabric in stock and its color would be _masterful_ on me. I smiled as he trailed after Hatori-san, begging to drive the car. Hatori-san refused. _How long will I be able to know these people?_ I couldn't help but feel a little bittersweet sadness at the thought. They were all so original and individual.

"Tamae-san. Is this for me?" Sohma-san's question brought my attention to the box lying on the table in front of him.

"Hai, Sohma-san. It's the scroll that Isuzu-chan wanted translated. I don't think I should have it any more and I think that Isuzu-chan doesn't even want to see it now that she knows it won't help her. I thought you might be able to return it." I handed the stack of papers to him as well. "These are all my notes and the translation. I don't want them any more. I already know how the story ends."

"Do you, Tamae-san? Are you sure the story's over?" I waved at the stack of papers.

"Their story's been over for a long time, Sohma-san." He looked at me in surprise as he ran a hand over the box before opening it. He unrolled the scroll and looked at the text, a puzzled frown settling on his brow.

"This is just a kitchen record!"

"I know. See the marks, there and there? Those are the characters I translated." They were so small they looked like ink drops. He held the scroll close to his nose and I couldn't see his expression.

"Ah, yes. I see them now. Interesting. She was a very clever girl, wasn't she?"

"I guess so. But then, who'd expect a servant to be able to write?" He nodded in agreement.

"I'll make sure this gets to where it belongs Tamae-san." Tohru-chan emerged from the kitchen.

"Shigure-san? I've finished preparing all your meals for the week. And your laundry is all done. I'm going to go home now. You'll call me if I've forgotten anything, won't you?" She was putting on her coat as I got to my feet.

"I'll be going too, Sohma-san. I've got a long walk back to my apartment. Honda-san, which way are you headed?" She told me and I offered to walk her part way. "It's on my way." She had been about to refuse and nodded, smiling. I bowed to Sohma-san.

"Sayonara, Sohma-san. Arigatou for all your hospitality." He waved goodbye, muttering something about young women always leaving him behind while they had fun.


	16. Acceptance

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
**A/N**: Hitting the home stretch now! Only 2 more chapters and an epilogue after this one. Tamae's getting cheeky, isn't she? I have to admit I enjoy her character greatly.  
  
**Reviews**:

Segreverie: Shigure is one of my favorite characters because of that duality. I don't think his lecherous side is an act; more of a persona, an aspect of his personality that he exaggerates and exploits to throw people off his scent (look, I made another funny!). The anime doesn't touch on it, unfortunately. I much prefer the Shigure in the manga. So devious and calculating but he does care. It may be that he's so objective he knows what he does will hurt people but does it for (what he perceives to be) their own good or the good of the family. Example: I'm sure he would have opened his home to Yuki anyway, but when Hatsuharu asked that particular favor of him he said he would do it if Haru called him 'sensei' for the rest of his life. Of course Haru agreed, even though thinking of Shigure as a 'sensei' must be galling for him. Shigure probably wanted to know how far Haru would go to help Yuki. Gotta love the guy, lol!  
  
Babymar-mar: I'm so glad you like it! I've actually got it all written up, I just figured I'd give people time to read it before I posted the whole thing. That also gives me time for one last edit, lol! I'm still thinking about what I want this story to say. But it's almost all up, so enjoy the next two chapters and I'll probably have the last two up before the week is out!  
  
Chapter 16: Acceptance  
  
The next time I saw Isuzu-chan, she looked more apprehensive than I had ever seen her. She paced my apartment like a wild thing.

"Isuzu-chan? What's wrong?" She shook her head, her long black hair whipping about her.

"Ayame was careless. He was caught in the records room and Akito is suspicious." She snorted. "Ayame is terrified of Akito. He doesn't lie well. Now Akito's asking questions of all the jyuunishi."

"We knew this might happen." It was all I could think of and it was the wrong thing to say. She turned towards me, eyes flashing.

"How can you be so calm?" I took a fortifying gulp of my soft drink and took a deep breath.

"I'm not calm. I'm scared. But I accepted a long time ago that there are things I don't have any control over." With every word I saw fury building in her eyes.

"Where is the scroll?"

"With Sohma-san, along with all my notes. I gave it to him a few days ago."

"Why?" Her voice shook.

"We have to trust him, Isuzu-chan. We..._I _couldn't carry the burden of this any longer. I don't think he'll do anything that we haven't already anticipated. It was the only thing I could think of to do at the time." My voice rose in an attempt to reach her through the wall she'd thrown between us.

"Baka! That's exactly what he wants you to think! He's got you eating right out of his hand! You're a fool, Tamae! Didn't you listen to me? Now it's over! It's all over!" Real terror colored the last of her words.

"It's not over! We don't know what's going to happen! Isuzu-chan, don't give up on this! We've been friends for so long..." I trailed off . She slashed her hand through the air.

"It would have been better if we'd never met." Fury, real fury filled me. For a minute I couldn't feel anything but that terrible anger and a pain that cut through my heart like hot metal. Before I knew it I was standing before her. _Crack!_ Her head whipped sideways at my slap. She held a hand to her cheek and stared at me.

"Don't you dare! Don't you ever tell me you believe that! I sought you out remember? I wanted to be your friend. You didn't want to be close to anybody! You thought you had to fight all alone. You're not alone! I carry this, too. It was my decision, so you can stop blaming yourself!" I was screaming and crying at the same time. Where had my control gone?

"Tamae..."

"Shut up, I'm not finished! I wanted to be Isuzu-chan's friend. It took me a long time to convince you trust me. I've been here for the last two years. It was never about the scroll for me. That was fun and it was interesting but it was secondary. I love you, Isuzu-chan! You are my best friend. I've never had a friend that I could share everything with and just be silly with. You are that friend for me. In the end you accepted me. You didn't judge me. You've trusted me with something vital to you and I learned that I could care about someone more than I care about myself. That means more to me than you'll ever realize. I'm not sorry we became friends! I'll never believe that it would have been better if you hadn't taken a chance on me! I'll never believe that!" I broke. After two years of being friends with this incredible woman who carried so many scars, I broke down and cried in front of her like a child.

"Tamae-chan..."

"Don't you ever say you're sorry! Don't you ever say it would have been better if we'd never met! Don't you dare! I'm not sorry! I'm not!" I sobbed into my hands. She just stood before me, shocked. I never acted like this!

"Stop it. Stop crying." She wrapped her arms around me and rocked back and forth. "I didn't mean it. I'm just so scared. I don't want you to not remember me. I want us to go shopping and go out to lunch together just like old times. I don't want that to go away. You're my best friend, too." She didn't cry. This time I was the one who needed her. I was so scared. I didn't want to forget her, either. _Kami, please let me stand for a little while longer! I can't fall now!_

I don't know how long we stood there holding each other. Finally, exhausted from the emotional outpouring, we fell asleep. When I woke up it was dark out. I looked down at Isuzu's face as she slept. She looked so young. It amazed me that with everything she'd had to endure because of a trick of fate that she could look so peaceful as she slept. My phone rang, breaking into my thoughts. 

"Moshi, moshi." I kept my voice low.

"Tamae-san? It's Shigure."

"Sohma-san. Why are you calling me so late?"

"It's only six thirty, Tamae-san." I looked at the glowing numbers on my alarm clock.

"So it is. It's been a...trying day, Sohma-san. What can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for Rin-san. She disappeared early this morning and the entire Honke is looking for her. You're the only person I could think of who might know where she is at this point."

"You're only calling me now?" I was amazed.

"Well, my editor came today and it skipped my mind."

"Your concern is touching." He was silent for a minute.

"Is she with you?"

"Hai. She's sleeping. I don't want to disturb her."

"I see. I'll let Ha-san know to call off the search party." I nodded, even though he wasn't there to see it. "Tamae-san...we have to talk."

"I understand. The gold's going away, isn't it?"

"Hai."

"Arigatou, Sohma-san. Sayonara." I hung up before I heard him say goodbye. Turning, I saw Isuzu sitting up on the futon. "I'm sorry, Isuzu. Did I wake you up?"

"Ie. The phone did. Who was that?"

"Sohma-san. Apparently you disappeared and the Honke's sent out search parties. You know the rest." She nodded.

"What did you mean, the gold's going away?"

"Oh, that's just a line from a poem I once quoted to Sohma-san. It's silly, really." She knew I was evading her answer. "Can we not talk about it? It's kind of depressing and I don't want to be depressed right now. Are you awake or do you want to go back to sleep?"

"I'm awake."

"Well, I'm hungry. Let's go out to eat." I was determined that if I didn't have much more time to spend with her I wanted to every moment to count. I didn't want any more sadness to color it. She smiled and stood up, pressing out the sleep-creases in her clothes.

"I think I have something floating around here that would meet with your approval. Want to look? I could use a change myself." I laughed. Two years ago she wouldn't have been caught dead in anything in my closet. She grinned, too. I knew she was thinking the same thing.

"Hai. You should wash your face, too. You look like a raccoon." I stuck my tongue out at her and went out to the small communal bathroom to wash up while she changed.


	17. Second Chances

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
A/N: Beginning of the end...(sniff) No more character additions or any of that. Please R&R! Let me know if you have any questions, comments, criticisms, etc. This is my first fanfic, so I'd appreciate the input!  


Chapter 17: Second Chances  
  
Isuzu and I both tried to put it out of our minds and concentrate on spending time together. Since we didn't have classes together she would often come to my apartment in the evenings or we'd meet during the breaks between classes. But after the first week went by, then the second, and then a month, we gradually relaxed. Desperation no longer fueled my intense need to be with her. We returned to old habits, having lunch together during the week and hanging out on weekends. I started going back to the library in the evenings to study. Some nights she would join me. One of the nights she didn't another did—Sohma Hatsuharu.

I admit he took me by surprise. I didn't lose myself in studying like I used to, and he was surprisingly quiet in the heavy boots he wore.

"Mikage Tamae?" I looked up in surprise. I had forgotten how mellow and laid-back his voice sounded. Of course, I only had the one meeting to go by and that had been nearly two years ago.

"Hai. It's been a long time, Hatsuharu-san. Would you like to join me?" He bowed and sat down. "This is a surprise."

"It is. I expected to be here two days ago, but the winds of fate blew me off course." I smiled.

"I think that I would like to be blown off course sometimes. It would be fun to see places and people I've never noticed before." He gazed at me with cool gray eyes. "Why did you want to see me?"

"Sensei said I should find you."

"Sensei?"

"Shigure." I nodded. There was a story there but I got the feeling he wasn't one to share stories with people he didn't know.

"Oh, Sohma-san. Actually, I did have something I wanted to ask you. About Isuzu-chan." Was it me or did he perk up a bit at her name?

"About...Rin."

"I always wondered why the family called her that." He shrugged.

"Shigure gave her that nickname. Her name means 'bell', and 'rin' is the sound a bell makes. Why don't you call her that?"

"It always seemed private. Besides, I've always thought of her as 'Isuzu'. For a while it was 'Isuzu-san', but we've relaxed a bit with each other. She's a very dear friend." I twirled my pen through my fingers, smiling.

"She's changed."

"Has she? I imagine you have, too, Hatsuharu-san. Time doesn't stop, you know." She had changed greatly from the hostile girl I had first approached. She was still prickly, but it was softer now.

"I guess so." He appeared to consider this. "She's not the same person I used to know."

"Some things are. Some things aren't. I'm hardly the same person I was before I met her, but some things stay the same." I indicated my twirling pen. "I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. Helps me think. What about you? Your sense of style certainly hasn't changed." I grinned. He looked like he belonged in a jrock band. For the first time I saw a ghost of a smile grace his smooth expression.

"I guess it hasn't. Some things do stay the same."

"Do you still love her?" I had taken him by surprise. I saw it in his eyes as the pupils contracted, revealing silver among the gray of the irises. He was silent for so long I began to get nervous. _One more gamble...please let this one work!_

"Hai. I do." My breath came out in a _whoosh_. Had I been holding it? To cover my relief I dug through my bag and pulled out the copy of the translation I had saved, hoping for this chance.

"This is something Isuzu-chan gave me when we were first-years. She asked me to translate it. I did, but I think she was disappointed with it. I'd like you to read it. Please let me know when you're done. I have something I'd like to ask you afterwards." He took the file and started reading and I tried to concentrate on the paper I had been writing. He was a slow reader. Finally, he closed the file and pushed it away.

"What happened to them?"

"I don't know. We asked Ayame-san to go through the birth records to see if they actually existed, but the only name he found was Minoru's. That was before Yoshiro came into the picture. It's probably also why Ayame-san got caught." Hatsuharu-san shook his head at that.

"Ayame goes in there all the time to research what everyone wore for the New Year's celebrations. They keep pretty detailed records of those things. He's responsible for making costumes for all the jyuunishi every year, so he spends time there trying to find patterns that were used before this generation was born." He shrugged.

"Oh. That must be why Isuzu-chan said we should go to him for help with it."

"About this," he tapped the file. "There's a lesson in here for me, isn't there?"

"I don't know. Do you think there is?" He gave me an indecipherable look. "I know I'm not terribly subtle, but I found that it taught me something."

"What's that?"

"It taught me how to stand." I looked at him. "It taught me that sometimes there are things you can't change. Like what you and Isuzu-chan were born to. But even with that, there's still a choice. You can choose to run from what you can't change, you can fight it, or if it's a force so great that running and fighting have no purpose you can choose to stand against it—live with it and take your chances." He nodded. "I think you already know this. I think that's why she ran from you. She had to fight because it was the only way she could think of to prove that she loved you. And she couldn't fight with you standing in front of her so she pushed you away."

"She never needed to prove anything to me. I told her that so many times..." He trailed off sadly.

"She didn't trust it. She thought she was loved and found out she was hated." I saw his eyes darken and rushed on. "She was afraid that if you discovered how unworthy of your love she was—or she thought she was—that you'd forsake her, too. She was so afraid of being rejected that she pushed you away before you could fight for her. The Isuzu-chan you knew back then didn't have the strength to believe that you could love her as much as she loves you."

"And now?"

"I know she still loves you. I know she thinks you've moved on. I know she's changed, but she's still fighting. The question I have for you is how far would you go for her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Can you fight her for her if it meant you could get her back? Can you stand beside her? Can you show her how to stand?"

"This is important to you." I nodded.

"I want her to be happy. I might not be around to see it. Hell, I probably won't even remember her, but the person I am right now wants her to be happy. I think you can help her. I just don't know if you're up to it." I threw the challenge out there. He leaned far back in the chair, contemplating the ceiling for a long time.

"Shigure was right. You are a romantic."

"I keep hearing that."

"You seem to have thought everything through."

"I accept that I probably won't be around much longer. I don't like it. I want to fight it, but that won't accomplish anything. I could run, but that would only make the threat I pose farther away and delay the inevitable. So I'm standing. I'm going to stand as long as I can and enjoy my friend. I just want to make sure there'll be someone she can turn to when I'm gone. She's not the kind of person who'll go to just anybody." He looked at me again with that unreadable expression.

"To answer your question: I don't know. I tried to fight for her before, but she pushed me away before I could even try. I gave up. I figured that was what she wanted."

"I've found the jyuunishi don't do risk very well. You both took a huge one, but you were kids then. Now you know what could happen. Isuzu-chan was hurt because of that risk; it's why she pushed you away. She didn't want you to be hurt at all. So she took it all on herself. Maybe now she's able to believe you want to share the risk with her. I don't know. The only way to know for sure is to try again, Hatsuharu-san."

"Hai, I know." I tapped the file in front of him.

"She is not Haruko. There are some things she has to accept, but she shouldn't have to accept all of them like Haruko did. And you are not Minoru. He didn't fight at all. Fight for her, Hatsuharu-san, onegai. Teach her that she doesn't always have to fight alone. And teach her that sometimes, when she's tired of fighting, it's okay for her to stand."  
  
I gave the file to Hatsuharu-san as he left. He bowed and thanked me, and I haven't seen him since.


	18. Fading Gold

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.

A/N: Last chapter! I'll be uploading the epilogue along with this one, so I'll be responding to reviewers with that one.

Chapter 18: Fading Gold  
Two weeks later I received a phone call from Sohma-san. He told me that Akito wanted to see me. He was very straightforward. I don't remember what we talked about; all I remember was that my blood was rushing through my ears so loudly that I couldn't hear what he said. Finally he stopped talking and I knew he wanted was waiting for me to say something.  
"When?" I asked.  
"Tomorrow. I've already told Rin-san. She's on her way over to see you now."  
"Arigatou, Sohma-san. Whatever happens, I want you to know I'm grateful."  
"Hai."  
When she arrived, she didn't say a word. She threw her arms around me.  
"No regrets, Isuzu-chan." I choked out. "I'm happy I got to know you. I'm happy I've had Isuzu-chan for my friend." I couldn't talk any more. She was crying in that silent way of hers. Her whole body shook with the force of her sobs.  
"You can still run," she pointed out after our grief was spent. I shook my head.  
"I don't want to. I never liked running much anyway. Besides, if I ran I don't think I'd be able to resist the temptation of letting you know where I'd gone. I don't have another best friend, you know." I prayed she would understand. I needed her to. I hadn't known it at the time but the moment I realized the danger I had chosen this course. I could have ended it then and there: cut her out of my life and never asked the questions I had. I was selfish. I didn't want to let go of her. This was the result. I'd hurt my best friend more than I ever wanted to. As punishments went, having my memory erased was almost anticlimactic. I didn't deserve it. I deserved to be allowed to remember this moment, when the weight of everything I'd done came crashing down on me and I was fully aware of the pain I had caused her. I began to weep.  
"Gomen, Isuzu-chan. All this time I never wanted to see you hurt. I was so selfish. I couldn't let you go. I—" She just held me as I cried.  
"I'm glad Tamae-chan was selfish. Hatsuharu told me you gave him the translation. He said you challenged him. He said you are a good person. I agree with him. Tamae-chan is a good person. If Tamae-chan hadn't been so selfish and fought so hard I would never have known what it's like to have her for a friend. I don't think I would want to not remember that Tamae-chan is my friend, even if she won't be able to." She sounded as surprised as I was when she said this. "No regrets, Tamae-chan."  
"Hai," I replied. The pain was still there, but her words had soothed it somewhat. "No regrets."  
We spent one last day together. We skipped classes and walked about town, holding hands and talking about everything and nothing at all. If it hadn't been for the shadow that loomed over me, I would have called it a good day. But I still smiled and laughed easily. This day was for both of us. She spent the night. I couldn't sleep.  
  
So I've spent the whole night writing this. I'm sure I've romanticized the whole affair but, as the friends I've made keep telling me, I am a romantic. It's now well into morning. Hatori-san and Sohma-san should be arriving in about two hours and I have to get ready. I'm going to wear that red dress that Ayame 'talked' me into buying. The irony there is so obvious I'm cringing as I write this but it does look good on me. I want her to remember me looking good.  
  
I'm sending this to Sohma-san. I'm going to ask Hatori-san to give it to him if my memories are erased. I don't know what he'll do with it; I don't know if he'll do anything at all. I'm sure he'll read it and be amused by my reaction to him. Maybe he'll wind up giving it to Isuzu-chan. There are so many things I haven't had the words to tell her. She taught me to be strong, to be bold, to not care so much of how people thought of me. She forced me to venture outside my safe little world into one that was so dangerous it only sharpened my joy at being in it. However, I couldn't tell her the one lesson that, most of all, I don't want to forget.  
  
In the end, it was she who taught me how to stand.


	19. Epilogue: Still Standing

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. I do own Mikage Tamae, Sohma Haruko, Sohma Minoru, Sohma Yoshiro and Sohma Katsuo.  
  
A/N: This is it! (sniff) My first fic is over. I did enjoy writing it (although my husband probably didn't 'cause I ignored him for a week!) and I especially enjoyed creating Tamae. She's a combination of me and one of my younger sisters. I didn't realize it until I read it through in the editing after I uploaded, lol! I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and Miyu, my wonderful, fabulous beta who proofread everything I wrote and gave me the stamp of 'not a Mary Sue' approval! Glomps, chocolates, and bishounens to all of you!  
  
Reviews: Satar: I'm glad you like the story. Unfortunately, this isn't a Mary Sue (at least, not much of one) and so I had to disappoint you. There's a small reference to Tamae's meeting with Akito, but that was never the point of this story. Gomen! I hope you aren't too disappointed with the ending.  
  
Babymar-mar: Hey, this is my first fic! I gotta respond to all my reviewers, lol! I AM happy that you like the story and that you stuck with it. Sometimes I forget what stories I'm reading and drift away from them. So thanks for sticking with me through all 19 chapters (for me, that's looong!)  
  
Epilogue: Still Standing  
  
There are some things in this tale that need finishing up. I hate loose ends.  
  
Tamae-san did get her memory erased that day. She and Rin didn't cry. Ha- san and I also noticed they didn't say goodbye. When I escorted Tamae-san to see Akito Rin walked with us. Of course, Akito was furious with both of them. Tamae-san took all the blame on herself. She told Akito that she had pushed through all of our attempts to dissuade her and forced us to tell her the truth. When he asked her why, she replied, "Secrets are meant to be uncovered, ne? I could never resist a mystery."  
  
Later, I saw Rin sitting under a tree with the only other person I think she's ever trusted: Hatsuharu.  
  
It would seem Tamae-san's last gamble paid off after all. Rin-san still fights him but he's patient. I think she's secretly glad that he won't let her push him away this time. She can still put him in Black mode with a few choice words but she doesn't do it as often as she used to. He's softening her. I don't think she minds.  
  
I have a confession: I never returned the scroll. I do have a small knowledge of these things and I thought what Tamae-san told me was a code she had translated looked like transferred ink or mold spots. I took it to several well-respected archivists and they tended to agree with me. Aya, Ha-san, Haru and I all agreed that Rin will never know.  
  
It turns out that Sohma Haruko did exist. We knew about Sohma Minoru and Sohma Yoshiro—records for the jyuunishi are kept separate from records of the general family. Haruko lived during the same time as the two jyuunishi in the story. She was pregnant; she miscarried the baby and died. She was seventeen. Some time later, while he was digging around looking for costume patterns, Aya found something else: a small collection of pages all with drawings of the same serving girl. One of them was actually signed Sohma Minoru. Once again, we took the pages to some experts and they all agreed that every drawing was more than likely done by the same person. As Tamae-san would say, there are simply too many coincidences to be taken lightly.  
  
As for the 'translation' that started this whole thing, we're not sure what to think. Aya and I have discussed it at length, but we can't come to any real conclusions. There was no way Tamae-san could have gotten into the compound without anyone knowing. There simply aren't any references at the university library with the Sohma name in them. We've done a good job of covering our asses over the years. So how could she have written what she did? Haru has a theory; he told us about it one day when we were all at my house. He said that he thinks Tamae-san is Haruko's reincarnation. Somehow during the whole affair some of those old memories broke through—probably because a jyuunishi was involved. Haa-kun has become very spiritual, ne? I think he expected us to laugh at him.  
  
And Tamae-san? She's still attending the university, working on her master's in foreign languages. Akito told me to keep an eye on her; if she stumbled on our secret once we can't let it happen again. She's very observant, is Tamae-san. After her memory was erased I entered a mentoring program at the university; Sohma connections made sure that I was assigned to her. Guess what? She's decided she doesn't want to be an archivist after all. She's decided to become a novelist. I can only assume it was my influence that led her to change her mind. I introduced her to Mii-chan a few months back and she's already got her first novel ready to be published. It's a romance.  
  
I think she has a crush on me.  
  
Aya, Ha-san and I are still the same. Well, not really. Time doesn't stop, after all. I think Tamae-san did teach us something; I know that by reading this I certainly learned something. I learned I was right; she is a romantic. And it's true that at any point in this she could have chosen to leave well enough alone but didn't. She taught Rin how to trust; Haru is teaching her that she doesn't have to fight alone. Looking at the two of them and reading the story of Haruko and Minoru, I know they've come to realize that just because they are jyuunishi doesn't mean they can't choose to take happiness when it presents itself to them. Sometimes they have to stand, but for the most part Akito leaves them alone.  
  
If you ask me, I'd say he's more afraid of Black Haru than anything else.  
  
Ja ne!

Sohma Shigure


End file.
